Successful 6 month follow up at oncologist

When I completed my cancer treatment on March 3, 2017, I pretty much moved on to thinking about my needed shoulder surgery. And aside from seeing my deformed left boob in the mirror every day, feeling the scar tissue nodule the size of a golf ball in it, and the effects of lymphedema in my breast, I really don't think of myself as having had cancer. 

Then the calendar tells me I need to go back to the surgical oncologist every 6 months for a while and have a 3D mammogram and exam by my beloved, Dr. Jennifer Manders (the best breast surgeon in Ohio!) That day was today.

I started my day with a 6 week follow up with Dr. Nitz, my orthopaedic surgeon and found out I am now cleared to drive again and continue strengthening my shoulder, but I am healing great! Yeah...

Then I drove down to Cincinnati and had my 6 month follow up mammogram and exam. I admit, I was anxious (a little) but not because I thought the results would reveal more cancer, but because since my shoulder surgery, my left breast is filled with lymphatic fluid and I couldn't do much about it (so I thought) because of my shoulder surgery restricting my arm. So over the past 6 weeks, I have a rather normal soft 50 year old right boob and a firm and perky 15 year old feeling left boob. Some may say they wish they had a little lymphedema in their boobs, but I assure you, it's not all that great! So my fear was that with the lymphedema and scar tissue, I would feel pain with the mammogram. Thankfully, I did not. The woman was great who took it and she was very considerate of my comfort.

The great news besides getting a clean bill of health from the mammogram was that my amazing Dr. Manders did do some lymphedema massage and got a lot of the lymph pushed out of my breast and it now feels more normal!

So that's the scoop on the follow up...all good and uneventful! I love those kinds of appointments!! Thank the Lord!

Life After Cancer

It's been almost 3 months since my last cancer treatment.

Admittedly, it's all a bit surreal to think back on now. Hard to believe that 'I' had cancer. Doesn't seem real, and I never would have imagined it happening. Yet, here I sit,  one year later and all my cancer treatment behind me, and successfully having had my rotator cuff surgery completed, too, as of 4 weeks ago, and one would think I was feeling like celebrating! Today, I admit...not so much.

I have come to realize that when I was first diagnosed with cancer, there was shock and life felt like it was unraveling on many levels. I lost my job, my health, and my future was all a blur. Yet, many people lined up to help me, called me, sent cards, offered to bring meals, and I was inundated with so much love and attention that I never realized how that really carried me through much of those days of uncertainty, chemo, nausea, surgery, radiation, and all the bag of nails that comes with it. And, of course, anyone who knows me, knows how my faith in God was my rock, my purpose, & my security.

Yet, today, on May 26, 2017, I woke up feeling depressing thoughts. I really hate to admit that because, well, when one is depressed, it's not a very fun conversation and I think it's not a conversation for others to want to listen to either. Nor one I want to actually admit  as depression is not something I care to have. And, as a Christian, I KNOW in my head that I am loved and have value and purpose! As John Wonderly's wife, I never doubt the tender love and devotion to me as his precious and treasured wife! He daily assures me of his desire for me despite my deformed left boob, loss of sex drive,  ugly duckling hair-do, unwanted weight gain, and being gainfully UNemployed! Swipe Left! I even know in my head that my children, family, and friends genuinely love and care for me...but seriously, it IS my reality that I am feeling a little sorry for my self today, aka depressed.

So why write about it? Why not just wait for this to pass? Because it's not all cupcakes and sprinkles.

It may be due to the fact that I am not supposed to drive my car for 6 weeks post shoulder surgery so I am stuck at home more than ever! So I 'get' to organize my closets, pull weeds, cook and clean...(insert sarcasm)! Yeah, I know I should be thankful, but doing that everyday, day after day, and having nothing solid to return to as a job makes me wonder if I'll ever really fit in somewhere where my expertise and knowledge is valued like it once was? I have no dental hygiene job just sitting there waiting for me in a couple months when I recover and I don't know if I'll ever be satisfied at another office as much as I was in the culture and times as in the past at Dr. Henize's again! This is my reality as I awoke...I sit in doubt of my neededness and future.

While I'm on a roll with whining about my life right now, I might as well get it all out! I also have contact dermatitis on my hands and Athlete's foot on my foot that's not going away and I don't rest well at night due to 'sleeping' in a sling and bolster for my shoulder recovery. AND I take chemo pills daily to stave off all estrogen from ever entering my body which may make me moody, depressed, fat, have hourly hot flashes, and have no particular interest in romance despite how patient, loving, loyal, and tenderhearted my beloved spouse is (those ladies who have fully entered the blissful menopause stage in life know exactly what I'm talking about!) Violin anyone?

So what do I do with ALL my free time in my little home in Springboro, Ohio? A little bit of this, a little bit of that...The melancholy of this song is pretty much accurate for my current mood today. But here is what I do: make tea, read Jesus Calling devotional, read from VOM book and do house chores, walk a mile or three, prepare food, physical therapy, and tinker with potential future work ideas! I have toyed with writing a book, too, but there are millions of books out there. Who needs another? And besides, my story is no more interesting or unique than anyone else's out there (Ok...anyone who knows my story might say it is a bit more unique than most, but my point is that everyone has a story. Everyone.) Days fly off the shelf of life faster than the Tickle Me Elmo dolls in 1996! I wake up, and it seems like minutes later, I need to go to bed and hardly anything truly productive or worthwhile was accomplished. But I can say that I did organize my shoes in my closet today!! I know, it's impressive.

Perhaps tomorrow will be different. After all, I have read The Positive Dog by Jon Gordon recently and learned the specific action items I can do daily to feed that positive dog in me. Thankfully, I have a few faithful and understanding friends that I reached out to and they encouraged me as much as possible, for which I'm grateful!

This is truth...Sickness changes everything. But I am strong and we have a God who knows how I feel today and it's okay to tell Him. Even if I choose to sit in this boat of yuck, pity, and sadness a little while I know I won't stay here long. I must remember all those things He has taught me in the past year and rejoice!

My LAST and L O N G E S T Visual Post About My Breast Cancer Journey. Ciao!

It is finished! IT IS FINISHED! Praise the Lord! Hallelujah, Amen! Those three words have a profoundly powerful and  emotional significance to me on  March 3rd, 2017! In fact, it has been 298 days ago that I received the phone call from my doctor's office stating that I had breast cancer!

Since then, I have endured 5 months of chemotherapy that caused many side effects.

I've gone from pretty long brown hair to shaved to completely bald to growing back in grey! And on July 4, 2016 I had a hair cutting party to make the best of it.

 Then before long, I experienced peeling feet with the change in chemo drugs.

There was also the constant metal mouth, chronic fatigue and nausea.

Besides the loss of my job, there was the loss of a couple friends.

On December 1, 2016 I lost half my left boob and all my left armpit lymph nodes. And this is a friend,  Dr. Zak Thurman, who visited me while on his work shift!

I experienced pain in my arm as it adjusted to lymphedema symptoms, am still dealing with the forever loss of hormones that threw me into full menopause, and unfortunately had the change in sex drive that comes with it, and the gain of weight from steroids that I can't seem to shed. Then the radiation that burned my skin, increased my fatigue, and hopefully killed off any cancer cells that might have escaped the devastating effects of chemo and surgery! Cancer changed my life. Forever.

Yet, yesterday as I laid on the  treatment bed and received my very last dose of radiation, I whispered a prayer of thanks to my Lord and Savior!

It was  thanks for giving me life. Thanks for giving me so many friends, family and loved ones that supported me emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially! Here are just a few!!

My prayer in those few seconds was also one of thanks for having the opportunity to boldly share with so many people about the real presence of a loving God who is closer than we realize, wants to be in a personal relationship with each of us, and has revealed to me a gift in the cancer. These are the nurses that I got to share with after my surgery.

I gave thanks that He showed me a new perspective on death and dying and the joy that awaits those who know and trust in His son, Jesus, where there is no death. Thanks for Dr. Mary Neal whose story rocked my world and opened my eyes about God in a way I can never forget!

Thanks for a tender, loving , kind, and gentle husband who was by my side fully supporting me every step of the way.

Thanks for my children who went to doctors appointments with me, got tattooed because of me, sent me special gifts and flew from California to visit me!

Thanks for my step grand-daugthers who prayed every night for me and who sweetly tell me they love and miss me!

Thanks for so many people who reached out to call on me and send dozens of cards, flowers, and thoughtful gifts.

Thanks for neighbors, dental patients, strangers,  friends, sisters, parents, aunt and uncles, cousins, and co-workers for thousands of prayers and well-wishes! I am a very blessed woman!

So on my last day of radiation, I was a bit surprised as I got dressed after getting zapped for the last 12 second Boost, when I felt a surge of tears well up within me and the tears just flowed. I felt the relief of being done. The big exhale! The ladies at the office were so sweet and got a little teary too. And they gave me a certificate of completion!!

Then my sweetheart of a husband took me to our special lunch place, Cobblestone Cafe, and treated me to a delicious lunch.

After that, I got to have a special night with some of my dearest friends from Red Door. These are just some of the ladies that have shown me much love and support, but these are definitely the ones who rocked it out with me at aerial yoga and Meadowlark Restaurant, then followed up with dessert at Bills Donuts!  A beautiful way to celebrate my life.

So as I wind down on this blog, it is with immense gratitude that I can say that cancer wasn't as bad with all the loved ones God put in my life and all the adventure I had in the midst of treatment.

I could never have done it with this awesome of an attitude if I did not know and love my sweet Jesus who gave me hope and purpose in it all! So Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of my life.

For anyone who wishes to continue  hearing about my progress, or if anyone wants to contact me for any reason, feel free to  contact me: 937-608-2444. Otherwise, a deep and tender hug to everyone who has followed my journey and has shown me your love.