Checklist Kind of Day

I’m thanking God that my breathing and achy ribs weren’t noticeable today! The only real chemo side effects I have had to deal with is diarrhea x 4!!! It’s really not a big deal… A little Imodium and a lot of water fixes that issue quite quickly.

I decided last week to stop shaving my head and let what hair is growing continue to grow without shaving it. Not all of my hair fell out during the chemo…probably 50%. So while my hair hasn’t really started the regrowth process from what fell out, I’m going to try seeing how it looks with what’s currently growing. So now my head feels like peach fuzz!

Today was a full day of checking off many boxes on my checklist from hours of cleaning the house and putting away camping gear to selling things on Facebook marketplace and getting ready to bake a loaf of homemade sourdough bread.

My very dear friend, Karen, took me out to lunch for my birthday in Waynesville, OH at a Victorian tea house where we tried delicious scones, finger sandwiches and desserts! Delicious and sugar overload would describe it! I’m so grateful for the love she showered on me for such a special birthday treat! The proprietor was kind enough to even share a couple of her recipes with me!

I fed my sourdough starter today so tomorrow morning I will get to try my hand at sourdough bread for the third time… Hopefully it will be better this time than the first two!

Another highlight of my day was receiving a phone call from my South Korean daughter, Jumi, who is currently in Cambridge and studying for her PhD in economics! I love the heart she has for Jesus and I am always so grateful when my international kids reach out to their American mom! Isn’t she radiant!!

Made It To 56!

It’s 3 am now and I just woke up to a sensation of light pressure under my ribs that concerns me. It immediately caused me to continue talking to God about what’s going on physically. Yes, I want to remain in a place of gratitude regardless of my circumstances. And yes, I asked to be reminded that I don’t need to fear the future. And even more…yes, I prayed that this body would be healed and I’d live to a ripe old age feeling great the whole way well into my 80’s, 90’s or more! And to God be the glory ALL the way! And that I’d accept with grace whatever happens in my life even if those things happen differently. 

Now I need to try sleeping a bit more before the sun rises on my birthday!

It’s 7 am now and I’m awake again for the day. Spent time reading in The Passion Translation in the book of Romans. It’s when I’m reading and listening to God’s Word that I remember best Whose I am and I’m comforted. I’m so thankful for this new day and all that it promises. 

Today I’m touched by all the love I’ve been shown from avocado toast for breakfast with my BFF and cards made by her amazing children!

Then off to my son’s house where we spent the afternoon together. Planted a pawpaw tree after eating one small pawpaw. Then to PF Changs for lunch followed by a 2 hour hike at Cincinnati Nature Preserve.  

Finally arrived home and was surprised to receive beautiful flowers from a dear friend, Lora!!

 Topped off the night with venison filet dinner by my hubby around a campfire and the sounds of wind chimes and burning crackling wood with the soft song of crickets chirping in the woods. A perfect night!

I’m so thankful to EVERYONE who called, texted, sent a card or gift, sang, or reached out in any way to remind me of your love and birthday wishes!! Thank you!! I feel loved!!

My Last Day of Being 55

Today was wonderful and pensive. 

John and I started the day doing one of our favorite activities…Mountain Biking! Despite it being 49 degrees, we bundled up and hit my favorite local trails at John Bryan State Park! While on the trails, John got a call from a local in Yellow Springs whom he knew from over 20 years ago who happened to see us in his work van with John’s name on it, so he called and we met up for a visit in town. He’s one of the more fascinating people I’ve met in quite a while. George lives in a commune and one of his passions is growing Pawpaw trees. He had some ripe fruit that he shared with us so tonight at the age of 55, I tried my very first pawpaw! It’s especially sweet, has a soft buttery texture and tastes somewhere between a pineapple and banana. 

Then this evening John and I attended a Celebration of Life for Bobbie Henderson, the wife of one of John’s high school friends. She died suddenly a couple weeks ago so very unexpectedly. I think being surrounded by so many people who were dealing with the sudden passing of an amazingly impactful woman was interesting for me. I’m keenly aware that every day I have still alive is truly a gift and each day I have is one more than I had yesterday and one more day to be grateful that I’m alive. I hope my life can bless others and remind them how very loved we all are by a God who pursues us and wants us to choose Him.

I also have been the recipient of a vegetable gift from my new friend, JH, once again! She has gifted me with a ton of delicious, nutritious, organic Swiss chard and several other veggies this summer!! I’m so blessed!! Just another of those million little miracles!

Now as I get ready for bed I’m finding myself in prayer for my daughter, son in law, soon to be grand daughter, former husband and friends who are all living in the Hurricane Ian area. We haven’t had communication for several hours from them so I’m praying for their safety. I know that because of tornadoes that were hitting down yesterday, my daughter and family slept safely inside their closet last night and I know she was feeling safe this afternoon. But having no communication tonight is a bit unnerving. Please pray for my loved ones safety when you read this! And thank you!

Here I am at 55! Thankful to be alive! Tomorrow I’ll wake up 56 and will worship my Creator for seeing another year! 

Updated:God’s Glory & Beauty in WV

For the past 2 days I’ve seen and experienced sheer glory in the sights, sounds and smells of West Virginia. I’m thankful to have felt God’s arms wrapping me up in His creation’s beauty!

 

Bottle Gentain flower

This was the view at my campsite yesterday!

Meeting  these Trail Goddesses were one of my highlights of the trip!

The maples turned peak color while we were there. 

My best camping buddy!

Blackwater River

Blackwater Falls

Balancing Rock

I’m on top of the world looking down on creation at Table Rock!

Lindy Point

Douglas Falls

Not much else to be said after taking in all that! 

We did decide to head on home a day early because of a few logistics we need to tend to.  

As for my cancer updates: I have monitored my chemo side effects through the trip and my pulse and breathing have mostly been stable with a few heart racing moments. But my pulse is still running a bit higher than I’d like it to at rest.  I have minor neuropathy in my finger tips pads only and feet did great! Metallic taste is gone. My next appointment is the big reveal! I’ll be getting the next scans that’ll show where my body is at physically compared to the first scans done in April 2022.

Mountain Beauty

The fact that I have any cell service is a pleasant surprise right now. Being in the middle of West Virginia’s mountains usually means beauty everywhere and little cell service anywhere. 

I started my day out on a pier and reading Brother Lawrence’s book, Practicing God’s Presence. I was able to literally sit in His Presence for a couple hours praying, reading and breathing in deeply the morning while John slept in.

Next John and I enjoyed an omelette breakfast before the rain shoo-ed us away and we were off to adventure at Blackwater Falls State Park. From this stunning waterfall to a fly fisherman’s paradise on Blackwater Falls River to breath taking overlooks, we both were in awe of God’s creative beauty all around us. 

We have settled in to a dispersed forested camping area in Monongahela National Forest tonight and soon John will make me halibut and veggies before settling in the van for another night’s sleep. 

WV Wedding & Camping

I woke at 5 am on Friday morning praying that my pulse had normalized some how over night. Checking now… Pulse oxygen 97/97.. still too high especially at sleeping rest. 

Got up to use the bathroom which is 10 steps away from my bed and it immediately went to over 100 so now what? I pray in the dark with my arms stretched out. 

“Father, I’m Yours and yet I’m feeling a little afraid. I know you remind me to not be afraid, so I’m clinging on to that. Your promises are my foundation. I need You. I want You. I place my hope in You alone. With open hands I ask You to use my life for Your glory. I want my life to be made useful for someone, even if it’s one, to turn their affection, hope and life to you. I pray that someone will see Your hands working in my life and see Your goodness. You love me so fully. You gave everything for me. I’m yours…all of me. There is no one like You. No other can save me. Not my being good, not the saints or Mary, not money, power, or begging. No, there’s truly nothing that I can say or do that satisfies Your requirement to be in a right relationship with You except what You did through Your Son, Jesus. I’m not too wise, puffed up with knowledge or proud to think my own way is better than Yours. I come to You on Your terms. I believe. I trust in Jesus alone to have paid for my salvation. His death and sinlessness was all You required and my faith in that alone sealed the deal. I’m Your daughter now because of Jesus. I give You my life to do as You wish and I won’t question Your plan. So use me and abide in me so I can be an instrument that lovingly points others to You. I want all my family and all my friends to know You as their Forever Father. You’re so wonderful, awesome, powerful, gentle and fierce all wrapped up together.  I want to see and be with my loves again in eternity. As You prepare me for my journey back to You, help me to remember that this is not my home. Help me to not be afraid. Help my family and friends to have the clearest eternal perspective through Your eyes and find more joy than sadness in viewing You at work in my life . May my family, children and grand children see the beauty in being mine even though our time may be shorter than we wanted. It’s my deepest desire to be with You face to face when You’re ready for me. But please Father, continue to guide me here until I am with You because now I am frail and I can’t always understand what’s happening or why. I am sad as ponder my body’s changes and because I don’t see the other side, I fall into uncertainty and doubt sometimes. Yet I choose to trust You. So I pray for today that I’ll be light and love and I’ll live on purpose for You today however You need and want me to. I’m Yours completely. Heal me in all the things! Because of Jesus, I’m Yours and I’m ok.”

John and I packed up his work van and we headed to West Virginia to attend a friend’s wedding. What an answer to prayer to be alive to attend. Pouring and praying blessings over these two as we sit at our dispersed camp site on Saturday night. 

John found a perfect spot on iOverlander app. It was off a WV country road where a small river has a pier and canoe/kayak landing so we got to enjoy sitting on the pier and had a campfire in our Solo Stove fire pit while listening to owls and the crackle of burning Wonderly fire wood. 

We talked about the gift of today and the plans for our future. We prayed and soaked in the night.  Today I woke up and sat on the pier again to hear the morning sounds and see the dappled sun light up on the hills. We will have the next few days wandering around the mountains of West Virginia. Hopefully hiking and mountain biking, but definitely being together and thanking God for another day.

Prep Day

Things are a bit rough physically today starting with my concerning high pulse rate. I monitored it throughout the night and while my oxygen is stable enough, my pulse was consistently in the mid-90s even as I was sleeping! I checked it probably 4 times throughout the night. It did read 82 at 6 am when I woke up and hadn’t moved, but then all day today my pulse still read in the mid to high 90s and if I moved around a little, it easily went in the 100s! 

I did call my oncologist and she was wondering if I might be dehydrated or have an infection? Actually it’s very possible from when we canoed Wednesday and I felt dehydrated then. Also the top of my right ring finger has a little cut that’s healing however with my neuropathy it kills me if I lightly bump it! I’m wondering if it might be infected?

I’ve been drinking lots of water all evening to help if it’s from dehydration. Unfortunately my pulse is still high after 4 hours! I’ll closely watch this and report back to the oncologist.

Besides a few physical issues, today was a very productive day! I grocery shopped and meal prepped all afternoon and into the evening! Fortunately my friend Michaelah came to visit and helped me with much of this time-consuming work! John and I are camping for the next five days so there was a lot of planning and preparation work to get ready! This will be the first time we have camped in 2022 and we are both very excited for it! It’s my hope that everything will calm down by tomorrow.

So So Good Still

Today I can praise God for feeling so well after 6 days post chemo! Many other treatments landed me in bed on Day 6 after having chemo infusions but I’m thanking God that today there weren’t any fatigue side effects! 

Most of my day consisted of shuttling my husband from the Freightliner repair shop to home and back again! That’s 3 hours of driving alone! And on top of it, I got to visit some very special friends down in Cincinnati! That added an additional 2 hours of driving today! I could grumble a bit, but hey!! I’m alive to drive, so I’ll be grateful that I CAN help my hubby, I CAN drive 5 hours in a day without being full of steroids and I made it another day with a grateful heart. 

I had the joy of visiting with some of our favorite younger friends and their children, ate Monica’s delicious healthy food and got to be in awe of the tremendously beautiful parents these fine friends have become in the past 5 years!

I also was blessed to talk with a special friend that I met because of our similar first breast cancer diagnosis 6 years ago. Karen M will always hold a special place in my heart as we traverse this planet at the same time. Our paths crossing was not a mistake and for her I’m especially grateful tonight!

Physically things are pretty stable. Diarrhea issues resolved quickly with Imodium, as usual. Metallic taste is back. My skin is only kinda messed up. Cracked lip, cracked inside my nose again, and a few unmentionable areas have skin issues. But it’s my hope and prayer that in a few weeks as my skin repairs AND I no longer have chemo drugs in me that these skin issues will all resolve. I am aware of my ribcage but it’s not painful and for some odd reason my pulse seems to be higher than I’d expect. I noticed when I got out of the bath tub that my heart was pounding fast so I checked with my pulse oximeter and pulse was around 94-103 resting. Oxygen was between 95-98. I’ll want to monitor this again.

Since I took no photos today, I’ll post these for fun!

Today my beautiful daughter is so adorable as she shows me her sweet daughter that’s the size of a pineapple! 33 weeks today!

Sunshine & Family

Today was Breanna’s last day visiting us so we made the most of it! There’s a favorite lake where John & I love going called Grayson Lake, KY. Normally there are many waterfalls dripping and flowing off the many cliffs. Unfortunately, there was no flow which was a slight disappointment but it was very peaceful and beautiful anyway. It is a 3 hour drive each way so we started out before the the sun rose. 

John and Breanna did a little cliff jumping while I cheered them on. I wisely decided not to Cliff jump! I can only imagine what my medical oncologist would say or think of I foolishly jumped 15 -20 feet into water!  

We ate home made, fresh, organic spring rolls while in the lake and while standing on a sand bar. These are a definite favorite! 

After that much sunshine, I’m tired and ready to rest. 

I loved LOVED having Breanna here and would welcome her anytime! I’m also looking forward to getting back into my routine of scripture reading in the mornings, followed by a time of prayer and meditation and I could use a few days of intermittent fasting. 

Breanna Day #2 & #3

Another adventurous day with my niece! Loved getting out to canoe on Caesar’s Creek Lake where we saw tons of birds from great blue herons to cranes and kingfishers to bitterns! We discovered a hidden waterfall where we hiked and made a cairn to remember our spontaneity and love for nature! 

Then today we relaxed more starting with a long chat and visit at my bench. God’s beauty was evident in the sun, flowers, mushrooms, trees and mostly the love Breanna and I shared there!

These are the things of beauty that touched us both the past two days.