Lord, I Nēd You

At the time of me starting to write this next blog which is 2/2/25… I’m thinking about next week when I will be undergoing yet another PET scan to look for any active cancer. These are performed every 6 months and ALL praise to my Creator God, Yahweh, Heavenly Father, Lord of lords, King of kings, Miracle Maker, and Healer because the past 3 PETS have given a NED (No Evidence of Disease) result! Now I await another one in hopes that it’ll be the same NED.

Sneak peek into how my brain works…I chose to live my life as joyfully, gratefully, and normally as I am able despite a stage 4 diagnosis. I stay positive. I trust. I ring my Gratitude Bell often! I know I’ve been healed! It’s not just a mental tease that I tell myself like a pep talk. It’s a reality. Even Dr Johnson, my oncologist, says it’s a miracle! And yet….I have to fight back the thoughts of the “what ifs” as I see Feb. 5 PET SCAN on my calendar. There are the thoughts that test my ability to stay focused on the goodness of God no matter what the results are. There are the creeping-in doubts of my humanity where I wonder how joyful and grateful I would be if it’s not the same NED result? I tell myself to be calm and grateful no matter what the next result is and I will hold space for those sad emotions if needed. But today I’m not going to waste the time on what ifs! Today I’m praising God, continuing to read Scripture, ringing my Bell and living my best life. Today I will be present in the present and give God my future…it’s all His anyway to do as He pleases. I’m His! As I read in the Bible in the book of Acts here are some verses that touched me…

I have a lifelong friend named Shelley who is also in the battle with cancer and this morning she sent me this video! Thank you so much, Miss Shelley! You know I’ll be ringing my Gratitude Bell going in and coming out of the infusion center today because I can!

And recently I watched a movie on Netflix called The Forge. At first it was a bit cheesy but because Priscilla Shrirer is in it, I continued to watch it. It got better and better and by the time it was over I immediately texted my son and asked him to watch it…then I prayed off and on all night for him. One scene in the show was talking about The Roman Road. That made me think that this would be a great opportunity to share it here to remind us all of theTruth in God’s Word. So simple yet so life changing for those who embrace it personally. 

When I wake up every morning, my first thought is, “Lord, thank You for another day… now show me today how to live for You!” Then I take a deep deep breath in and think as I breathe in all things that bring life, love and healing to my body and exhale negative thoughts, fears and anything that destroys. 

2/5/25 PET scan day. I’m sitting at The James awaiting the SCAN that will predict my medical journey moving forward. It’s weighty to think of every time, even if I’m hopeful, even though physically I feel great! After this test I’ll have an echocardiogram and then I wait for 2 days to have Dr Johnson deliver the results. 

In the meantime I’ll be hanging out with one of my dearest friends, Deb S. Her husband is out of town for several days so I will be visiting and staying with her for the rest of the week enjoying her company, reading her Jesus Calling devotional, worshiping together and sharing how God is working in our lives. Here are the past two Jesus Calling devotional daily readings that touched me deeply. 

Here’s report from Dr Johnson…

Only two words needed!! Hallelujah! And AMEN! 

This is such a sweet day when I see God’s blessings poured into my life. I trust Him alone to meet ALL my needs and today Jesus gave me literally smiles, hugs, tears of joy and celebration with these two literal angels while at the infusion center. Maud and Hanan were there for me in a way that nobody can really understand unless you know the inner thoughts and details of my life right now. Suffice it to say that they were evidence of God’s goodness and care for me, His treasured daughter! 

Maud’s hugs were like the arms of Jesus Himself as she and I shared a moment of an eternal connection that happens between believers in Jesus! Miracles are all around us if we have eyes to see!

Hanan is the sweetest smiling face that greeted me with warmth and love today. God knew I needed HER to be my check in nurse today. She started with me almost 3 years ago when I started coming to The James and I don’t always get her but she’s definitely my favorite!! Again, a miracle that God gave her to me on this day when God showed up in the little details!

So now I carry on living my life with Jesus directing and guiding me as I take care of my temple, my body, with nutritious food and exercise. I hiked by myself this past week at John Bryan on my mountain biking trails where I worshipped out loud and sang my Gratitude song, prayed for anyone and everyone who came to mind and was in awe of the gift of nature. I even saw a herd of deer jump up and scurry across my path. It reminded me of psalm 42. This is a photo of another hike from last week where I got to still see the remnants of snow as fog created a mystical beauty. 

I will continue to prioritize my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. I desire my life to reflect the gift of life I have. I pray my words & actions reflect Jesus’ grace and love for others. I choose to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus as He holds my hand and I ascend up that steep mountain I’m climbing called life. I recently learned of a free app called How We Feel

and it’s been truly amazing to be able to journal and record how I’ve been processing a challenging week. Here’s one of many inspirational quotes from the app. 

So now I’ll spend the remainder of today listening to some of my favorite worship songs that have been the staple on my playlist recently. 

Lord I Need You

Goodness of God

This Is the Air I Breathe 

You Are My Hiding Place

Bon jour 2025!

If you personally didn’t wake up tomorrow, are you, the reader…Yes YOU,  are you able to confidently know beyond a shadow of a doubt what will happen to your soul? The gift of having a cancer diagnosis has given me more courage to share that I can be certain (and so can you) that my soul will be eternally joined with my Creator. There’s evidence and hope in one and only One. I’ve learned not to fear death thanks to Dr Mary Neal’s encounter in 2016 and her book ‘To Heaven and Back’. I’ve learned not to question this reality or wonder if it’s true. Jesus Christ fulfilled over 300 messianic promises (statistically that’s impossible unless it’s true!). Jesus died and rose from the dead (no other religions have a leader that accomplished that one!). Those who witnessed it went on to share it with the world and practically all of them were brutally murdered and willingly died in order to share this Truth so that you and I could hear it today. The book Stranger On The Road to Emmaus has been a favorite of mine and can be freely downloaded from the author’s website and it spells out how Jesus made a way for us to be assured of our destiny after we die. You simply can read the book if you don’t know any details about Jesus or read it even if you think you know the story. Jesus said that being a good person has nothing to do with going to heaven. Jesus said that no one comes to the Father except through Him through faith alone. I do believe. I trust in Jesus and the gift He gave me by paying for my sins so I don’t have to. I keep my eyes focused on Jesus alone. One book of the New Testament quotes in Hebrews where there are several translation options and several supportive scripture verses that share just one of many truths.  Believing in living multiple lives & reincarnation is a slap in the face to the One who gave up His life for me. Therefore, it’s my greatest hope that anyone reading this will investigate for yourself if you haven’t already and put your faith in the work of Jesus of Nazareth, the Jewish Messiah! And Him alone! If just one person reads my blog and puts their faith in Jesus, it’s all worth it.

I also have chosen a WORD for 2025. It’s continue.

CONTINUE… 

living, 

being positive regardless of circumstances, 

sharing my faith in Christ alone, 

growing in knowledge of the Lord, 

reading Scripture daily, 

sharing smiles and compliments with others, adventuring, 

working on healthy relationships, 

having healthy boundaries, 

loving yourself well, 

being fit, 

eating smartly, 

encouraging a special friend in her faith walk,

with your cancer treatment. 

Just CONTINUE!

I kicked off the 2025 New Year chilling out in sunny Florida for over 2 weeks praising God for the arrival of my new grandchild! And as much as I would love to share the details and photos, out of respect for my daughter and her family’s request, I can only say that all is well and prayers of health have been answered!  What I can say is how incredibly grateful I am to still be alive and well and to have the physical strength to experience this gift of time! It fills my heart to hear the sounds of my granddaughter calling out my name over and over, to sing her Edelweiss and Amazing Grace while she falls asleep in my arms, and to serve my daughter and son-in-law with a hot cup of coffee in the morning, with laundry done, closets cleaned, dishes washed and dinner made so they can rest before I returned to Ohio. Thankfully before the baby arrived we did make it to the beach and I got in a good power walk along the shoreline!

As oppressively hot as the South can be in the summer, admittedly the winters in Florida are quite lovely with temps much warmer than in Ohio! And while we all donned sweatshirts and Fall jackets, sipped hot tea to warm up in the mornings, I am a little bummed to have missed the 10” of snow that fell back home in Ohio. John got to try out our new snowshoes that we gave each other for Christmas as he had that special experience of breaking trail at Caesar Creek!

My Floridian friend, Lisa, doesn’t understand how anyone can look forward to snow and thinks I’m a little crazy but I can’t wait to clip on my new snowshoes and hike out in the woods where a blanket of white pure snow awaits me! 

It was lovely to have one of my dearest friends from Ohio join me for a night out in Florida where we watched pelicans fly and yachts docked in the marina! She always joins her parents in Florida for a couple months close to where I was so we got a night out together! Thanks Karen for being a faithful friend who loves me so well!

Once I returned to Ohio so that I could receive my infusion at The James Hospital, it was good to be in my own home for a couple nights, doing my own routine. On the morning of my infusion, I treated myself at a delectable Columbus, OH bakery called Dan-the-Baker. Their citrus melange danish with blood oranges, tangerine & grapefruit with edible violet petals was off the charts! I know… No…it’s not Whole Food Plant Based, AND yet it was unbelievably scrumptious. Now back to greens and beans!

My nurse during the infusion, Stacie, was as sweet as they come. 

She was new to the floor where I get my infusions and she wasn’t aware of my Gratitude Bell inspiration. So I got to share with her how it came to be. Here’s the link to the Bevin Bell company that made these bells in my honor and the poem I wrote to go with it.

Gratitude Bell

Stage four will not define me 

Because I have a choice 

Gratitude is the song 

In my heart and in my voice 

Today ring these bells 

Softly to remind 

Yourself and others 

To be grateful and be kind 

Come on my soul 

Find the strength 

To lift up your song 

And your attitude

 

No matter the storm 

No matter the pain 

There’s always a choice 

Of Gratitude

By Tricia Wonderly

However, being home didn’t last long because John and I headed to Michigan for a special evening lantern lit snowshoe hike at Hartwick Old Growth Forest in Grayling, MI with my former sister-in-law and her hubby. We stayed at a beautiful lavender farm and got to snowshoe on their private 7 miles of trails before the evening event. I’m now a huge fan of snowshoeing! And now that we own our very own, John and I will be seeking out more snowy trails!

On our way home to Ohio we stopped at The Chalet toboggan run near Cleveland, OH. We stood in line for over an hour in weather that felt like 9F for only one run that looked like this!

Grateful. For so much!