NC to OH

The two weeks after my last infusion were filled with beautiful Appalachian Mountain views, fun-filled activities, and joyful time together with my husband… And yet during this gift of extended time together, I sensed such a longing deep within me that is a need not met in these wonderful miracle moments. As I have been contemplating the reason why, it was in the waking hours between sleep and consciousness one morning that the Lord revealed to me the reason for my sense of wanting. 

I love how God meets us where we are and uses metaphors that are meaningful to us, even when it might make no sense to someone else. He gave me a vision of me being a bobber on the water and thinking that what held me up and provided meaning was the water I had been floating on. But He showed me how it is like me floating on the Dead Sea, where it might look like I’m existing with purpose, yet the Dead Sea offers nothing of sustenance, and there is no true life to be found in it. Yahweh reminded me that I need to be floating upon Him, which is the actual Living Waters that offers true meaning, life, and purpose. He reminded me that unless I’m spending time with Him and I’m in His Living Word… I am just a bobber floating on the Dead Sea.

In all my busyness those two weeks that appeared to be so enriching, I now realize that like Solomon once said in the book of Ecclesiastes, that everything is vanity and meaningless except for one thing. I just leafed through Ecclesiastes again and it’s worth a re-read if it’s been a while since you’ve glanced it in its entirety. 

My friend, Linda, introduced me to a new, rather poetic and heady, Bible translation & study that is in the process of being translated called The Mirror Bible and I have downloaded it because I find it to be incredibly life-giving and reveals the heart of God like I’ve never experienced in any other translations. I do need to have time to really contemplate it rather than just a quick pick up and read kind of mentality though. Admittedly, The Passion Translation is a close second for me and I thoroughly enjoy reading Scripture again in either of these two translations! 

This last week I continued to come back to 1 John chapter 1, and read and reread The Mirror translation and the footnotes and have found it satisfying. What I’ve discovered in these passages trumps every glorious vista of mountains, flowers, sunrises, picturesque fog and wild life, every squeal of laughter going down a flowy trail on my bike, every retirement freedom joy, every good morning kiss and every thrilling activity of learning history of an area or walking 4 miles underground in ancient caves! So while I will share some of my favorite moments from these past few weeks, honestly, there’s nothing that is more life giving than the truth found in these few verses and the Word of God in general. I hope you take the time to reflect on these following scriptures and it is my prayer that you will also experience the gift that they contain, as I have.

1 John chapter 1:6-10 The Mirror Translation

6  This is the real deal. To live a life of pretense is such a waste of time. The truth has no competition. Truth inspires the poetry of friendship in total contrast to a fake, performance-based relationship. Light is not threatened by darkness. Why say something with darkness as your reference? 

7  We are invited to explore the dimensions of the same light that engulfs God; when we see the light in his light, fellowship ignites. In this light, we understand how the blood of Jesus Christ is the removal of (1) every distortion and stain of sin. 

Amended Footnote: (1) Sin is a distorted identity. To walk in the light as he is in the light means to see your life and everything that concerns you, exclusively from your Father’s point of view.

8  To claim innocence by our own efforts under the law of personal performance, is to deceive ourselves and to deliberately ignore the truth. The truth about us, does not mean that we now have to go into denial as if we haven’t done anything wrong. 

Footnote: (If you’ve hurt or wronged someone, go to them and be reconciled. To apologize restores harmony; but the essence of confession is a conversation inspired by the revelation of the love of God demonstrated in Christ. The focus of this conversation shifts from what you did wrong, to what Jesus did right. One cannot afford to cheat oneself by living a double life, acting out the fellowship thing, while still hosting stuff in one’s life that is inconsistent with the life of our design. You do not need to first get rid of darkness and then bring the light. Light deals most effectively and effortlessly with darkness. The light of the gospel does not reveal sin; it reveals our freedom from it.)

9  Our (1) conversation takes on a brand new dynamic when we take sides with what God believes about us. So, instead of telling God about the detail of our sin, we remind ourselves about the detail of our redemption. God doesn’t need the information, we do. God’s faithfulness and righteousness is the basis of our (2) forgiveness and cleansing from every distortion. Jesus removed every bit of condemning evidence against us. 

Footnotes: (1) The context of verse 7 suggests that we say what God says about us. (2) The word translated forgiveness, or remission is the word that means, ‘away from’, and ‘I am’; thus forgiveness is in essence a restoring to your true ‘I-am-ness.’ The injury, insult, shame, hostility or guilt would no longer define the individual.

10  If we judge ourselves innocent by the law of our own works, then we make Jesus Christ, and what his word and blood communicate within us, irrelevant. 

Footnote: The Logos/Word is the source; everything commences in Him. He remains the exclusive parent reference to our genesis. There is nothing original - except the Word. His life is the light that defines our lives. In His life, we discover the light of life. The darkness was pierced and could not comprehend or diminish this light. Darkness represents mankind’s ignorance of our redeemed identity and innocence.

Mirror Bible (https://app.mirrorword.net)

My refreshment I receive and agreement I have in reading this translation is an understanding that’s not necessarily new and yet totally new at the same time.

This simple and profound Truth is my everything. My why. Grateful. My identity is not in cancer, heritage, family, hobbies, wealth, or anything else. Sometimes I forget. Staying in the Word helps me remember. 

As promised, here is a slice of our past three weeks together… a snapshot of what John and I have been doing. After my last infusion, I flew to meet him in Charlotte, NC and we’ve been slowly working our way back home while taking advantage of the beautiful Spring weather. 

One annual ritual we missed this year in Ohio was morel mushroom hunting. I actually looked before I left and found none. I’m sure if there were any in our woods they are past their prime by now. But while there may not be morels, that doesn’t mean we missed the beauty of what is in the woods! We saw these two black bear in the woods of North Carolina and one day in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park we saw 5 black bear in the Cade’s Cove area.

In addition to whitewater rafting, hiking to many beautiful waterfalls, riding mountain biking trails and sight seeing in North Carolina and Tennessee we went deep underground in Mammoth Cave National Park in Kentucky. Come join me for the rest of our pre-WonderVan life!

Just outside Charlotte, NC there’s an awesome recreational paradise with a man made river for whitewater rafting, plus zip lining and mountain biking and we plunged in! Great fun! Charlotte, NC has become one of our new favorite cities!

Asheville, NC entertained us with a pricey little tour through Biltmore Estates on our way to more outdoor fun in Brevard, NC where we took in more hikes to waterfalls and a couple mountain bike trails.

The Great Smoky Mountain Railroad tour in Bryson City, NC traversed along rivers and the back hill country and the sweet folks we got to meet made the trip special and one thing we love about traveling is the good folks we get to interface with! 

A few days later we hit up Abrams Falls Trail which took us to this beautiful roaring 25’ tumbler and offered a moderate 5 mile loop hike in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. 

The mountain bike trails were mostly wet on the days we were in the Smoky Mountains but we found an all weather trail we could ride and enjoyed going over bridges near rushing rivers. And when we weren’t biking, we were hiking! 

Once called Clingman’s Dome in the Smoky Mountain NP, this peak now named Kuwohi is a vista that was supposed to reveal a panoramic 360 view with hundreds of miles to see. Instead we were treated with a misty and mysterious living photograph of something spectacular!

Mammoth Cave National Park was physically challenging as we had 2 days of cave tours that equaled 3 underground tours, about 2000 stairs, and 8 miles of trails all below the earth’s surface. It wasn’t too claustrophobic for me but after hiking up and down shafts through the belly of the world, my calves are screaming even 2 days later!

Then our last stop before making it home to Ohio was to visit my dear friends now in Indiana! It’s been almost 30 years ago that Cindy and Ross were first my neighbors in northern Illinois and what sweetness to be able to make an impromptu visit and feel like not one minute has passed since the last time we were together! We still call each other neighbors and look forward to our next cherished moments together!

Other than those fun haunts, we made it home to overgrown grass with a yard full of puffy cotton ball dandelion weeds and spent this past week just doing what needed to be done to get back into a routine of normal life! 

Looking forward to spending Mother’s Day with one of my kids tomorrow! I’ma blessed woman!!

Come Walk Three Weeks With Me

Charlotte, NC is a city I’ve never been to before and I can now say we will definitely be returning here in the future once the WonderVan is completed! John and I are visiting and making our way back home to Ohio in the next couple weeks as we celebrate our love and a miracle that only happens when Jesus is at the center of one’s marriage! 

We are hitting up mountain bike trails, healthy restaurants and unique outdoor activities everywhere we go! Ok, and a few special dessert places, too, like Amélie’s French Bakery where I treated myself to a lemon raspberry tart.

 Next blog there will be some epic photos and videos of white water rafting, zip lines, more mountain biking and who knows what else we will experience en route to Ohio! I’m truly blown away that I’m living this life! I’m the recipient of a modern day miracle and I don’t take it for granted!

Hitting the trails full of ivy and huge Willow oaks! I was surprised to roll over a black snake in the video. I’ve not been on my mountain bike in months so I’m taking it slow and soaking in mostly green trails where the skill level is easy and the enjoyment level is high for me. John on the other hand hits the techy, chunky blue and black trails where I video him attempting the jumps and using his skills from his childhood motocross racing days. 

THIS place is a cafe we have been reading about for years and finally found one in a city where we were! Bitty and Beau’s Coffee is very, very special. Read about it and encourage your town to get one!! In honor of Brooklyn who introduced me to this drink and my niece, Stephanee, who reminded me that this is her favorite coffee flavor, I treated myself again with a honey lavender iced latte! Here’s to you gals!

A charming restaurant called Flower Child I learned is a chain restaurant that offers deliciously healthy food and delightfully beautiful atmosphere! The South End of Charlotte’s location was so quaint as it was seated next to the train tracks in the newly renovated part of town where youth are bustling about and the weather was idyllic!

Listened to live guitar music at a vegan restaurant, Oh My Soul, in NoDa area that’s owned by a South African family! A must see for you plant-as-food lovers! The musician even played several John Denver songs for me! 

On April 18th I enjoyed time with this dear friend, Karen. She joined me for my trip to Columbus, OH as I received my infusion at The James. I’m such a blessed woman to have so many supportive and loving family and friends like her. If it’s not Karen, it’s Wendy or my family with parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins or my beautiful kids. If it’s not Liz and Brooklyn or Jordan and Deb and Trace, it’s Linda and Burr, Judy and Michaelah. I could go on and on. If it’s not Todd and Pam, it’s Breanna and Mauro and Jumi or Alex. If it’s not Glen and Doni, it’s Roger and John’s Men’s group! It’s strangers and it’s friends. It’s those who, like me, follow and proclaim Jesus as Lord..Christians of all walks! It’s my beloved Jewish family. It’s even been Muslims and agnostics. God uses us all and He has blessed me with prayers, support and out pouring of love from around the globe! I’m sometimes overwhelmed when I hear of those who lift me in prayer. May I be as faithful to pray for others as so many have been for me. And I’m still feeling 100% with only a few minor side effects that aren’t even worth mentioning. My Gratitude Bell is still ringing! 

In fact for those who haven’t seen it, there’s an amazing organic healthy chocolate company called The Conscious Bar that is featuring me in a little video that’s coming out soon. They made this teaser for me to share. God uses anything He wants to spread His goodness, even chocolate companies where I’ve made new life long friends like Mauro and the gang here a couple months ago!! The video he sent me this past week and I am blown away! God, You are amazing! 

Babbs getting in great grandbaby snuggles

H!

Z!

Yay yay!

Granita yoga in the mornings!

Lisa’s church service

Back to Florida for a couple weeks in between infusions as my sweet 12 year old friend, Zoey, and my mama joined me to babysit the most precious cargo ever, grandchildren. These two babies bring me the love, cuddles and laughter that nothing else offers. Yoga, dance parties, singing Edelweiss and toes in the ocean and sand are just a few unforgettable memories I hold on to with my beautiful grand babies!! Also Zoey and I were gifted with hospitality from a newer friend, Lisa, who God coordinated our friendship on an airplane about a year ago and what a treasure she is! I just love how God literally puts people in my life. “If you live in awareness, it is easy to see miracles everywhere.”(Thich Nhat Hanh)

For anyone wondering what I’ve been reading lately, here’s a book that Chat GPT recommended as a top resource on communication and I am learning so much! If anyone is interested in knowing the basic outline, watch this video of the author as he presents it to an audience several years ago. The world lost a special human when he died and I’m so grateful his legacy continues on in his book and videos. It is worth one hour of your life to watch it! And don’t assume you’re a great nonviolent communicator until you’ve read it!! 

It’s All Juniper Berries

Focusing on the beauty, the joy and the gratitude! Every photo here from the past 3 weeks are simply a testimony of how God has taken sweet, tender care of me…I’m His Beloved! I’m so blessed!

My sister turned 50 on March 22 so I surprised her with showing up in Rockford, IL at a party she was attending. It had been 42 years since I donned a pair of roller skates! I was all in, however, I wanted to be cautious so I didn’t break my neck, so I rented a little training wheel helper so I could do my fancy footwork like back in the day when I went to the roller rink every Friday night in 8th grade!! 

🛼🛼 laughter is so good for the soul!

Happy 50th Sissy!! You’re my favorite youngest sister forever! And our mama is the best role model of love, grace and friendship!

Every three weeks for the rest of my life I’ll go to Columbus, OH to get the infusions for treating the stage 4 breast cancer that once was in my body. Now I just get it for fun!! And I now can forever say, “I’m healed! In the name of Jesus!”

 

I spent over 2 weeks in Colorado with dear friends where God spoke to me through His creation: thousands of juniper berries reminded me of His abundant & endless love for me, dead juniper trees with twisted sturdy branches were the visual of how much beauty comes from so much trial and struggle over the decades. I literally worshipped WITH a juniper as its branching arms were held up in permanent praise as it stood erect waiting for my voice and raised arms to join in while we worshipped in Gratitude to our Creator together! Sacred moments! His Word talked to my soul and even instructed me of what to do next in my Season.

Sometimes angels wear dog skins and this pup was my angel as we hiked together back into the canyons and he provided the sense of safety I needed. God met me there every time! 

This magnanimous sky was a literal sign to me from my Heavenly Father that He will redeem things broken and restore them in His perfect timing! And I believe it. 

This canyon was truly where my Lover met me and reminded me of His tenderness toward me. He told me so many promises!! Here’s a snippet of what He comforted me with on our hikes: “Draw me into your heart. We will run away together into the king’s cloud-filled chamber. I will remember your love, rejoicing and delighting in you, celebrating your every kiss as better than wine. No wonder righteousness adores you! Listen, my radiant one— if you ever lose sight of me, just follow in my footsteps where I lead my lovers. Come with your burdens and cares. Come to the place near the sanctuary of my shepherds. My darling, you are so lovely! You are beauty itself to me. Your passionate eyes are like gentle doves. My beloved one, both handsome and winsome, you are pleasing beyond words. Our resting place is anointed and flourishing, like a green forest meadow bathed in light. Rafters of cedar branches are over our heads and balconies of pleasant-smelling pines.”

‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭1‬:‭4‬, ‭8‬, ‭15‬-‭17‬ ‭TPT‬‬

The Monument in Fruita, CO!

All glory, praise and honor to my Heavenly Father and Lord, Jesus who through His Spirit has called me His own and HE LIKES ME JUST THE WAY HE MADE ME! 

In Times of Growth

Friday Feb. 28, 2025 was yet another infusion. I love how God provided exactly what I needed! This was the second appointment that I went to by myself in order to have time to focus on my treatment without any distractions. I had beautiful conversations with my nurse, Michele, who hadn’t heard my story about the Gratitude Bell. God knew how to comfort me in His own special way. And this was the first time in 3 weeks I’ve rung my own Gratitude Bell so it was extra sweet! The poem I wrote to go with the Bell is sent with each purchased Gratitude Bell and I’m so appreciative for Bevin Bells gift of making this bell for me and selling it so others can ring their own!

I am in a stretching season of marital growth in my life right now. It is where I can take the mask off from pretending all is well and just be real! Details of my situation are not important but my healing is and because of my stage 4 diagnosis, I will take necessary measures to try and keep my mind calm, focusing on whatever I need to not stress because stress invites in illness. I have prayerfully asked a small circle of trusted people that encourage and pray over me to hold me up right now while I keep focused on maintaining my body’s health because I know if too much stress resides in me then my health is at risk. Someone who is stage 4 doesn’t have the luxury of taking one’s health for granted. None of us do, really, but I became much more aware of this after the reality check of a diagnosis.

When troubles hit and the enemy of our soul strikes like WW3, there’s no better defense than God’s Word, tenderness of Christ-minded friends, prayer warriors and constant submitting to the Holy Spirit to focus on Jesus. I’ve spent these past weeks on my knees, on my face and on an emotional roller coaster. I yo-yo between my fears and tears back to remembering my identity in Christ. 

My dear friend, Linda, gifted me with a Crafted Prayer to keep me in the right boat. She sent me verses from the Bible that are the tapes I want playing in my mind all day. Then I got to share them with one of my dear sisters in Christ, Judy. I just love how intentional God has been in orchestrating our sweet friendship.  Judy said that the whole world should know of this Crafted Prayer. It’s powerful! So I’ll copy it here for all to read. Credit goes to the Holy Spirit!

“Lord Jesus, this is the Nehemiah time.  I will not be overcome by a spirit of discouragement as I fill in the gaps in the wall.

I will erect a defensive wall that is impenetrable to the enemy’s assaults.

This is the word of God for this season.

I will fill in every gap with the help of the Holy Spirit, guiding me along the way.

Holy Spirit expose any gap, any breach that is in my life, in my body, in my finances, in my family and friends, my ministry, my marriage or my church or any part of my life. 

I decree that this rebuilding of my defensive wall to protect me and my family will happen very quickly!

I say, satan, I’m aware of your strategies, your influence to kill, steal and destroy my family relationships.

You ridicule, reject, divide, accuse, slander, berate, discourage and dishearten.

Lord, in the name of Jesus, I forgive everyone coming against me now and from my past who has wounded me or afflicted me in anyway so I can get healed of the wounds inside my soul that came from those conflicts so that I can join with others to do the enormous work that God has called me to and his plan for me in this earth. I realize I can’t do it on my own.

I let go of the offenses. I forgive them and expose myself to the healing power of the Holy Spirit. I expose myself to the love of God to the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ, and to the help and hope that Holy Spirit pours into my life with the anointing of God himself.

Right now, I receive complete healing for any trauma in my life. I likewise drive out betrayal from within me, canceling the effect of it. I cut it off, divorce it and send it to the pit of hell to never return. I know who I am in Jesus Christ. No relationship or earthly words will separate me from the love of God, the purpose for which I’ve been created and my union and wellness in Jesus Christ. 

Spirit of the living God, release your rivers of living water into my heart, to flow into my mind, to flow into my emotions, to flow into my will, my personality and every intention that I hold in Christ Jesus, and destroy every betrayal.

Heal & comfort me and overcome my past as I overcome evil with good in the name of Jesus Christ.

I break trauma right now and I say, “Grief, you come out & be gone. I release and let you go forever.”

I fill those places of abandonment and woundedness with the power of the Holy Spirit to be walls of Holy Spirit life and peace, righteousness, and joy, faith, hope and love.

I declare that deception and defilement have no place in my life or in my marriage.

I refuse them and I cancel every influence from darkness, and I speak the light of Christ which is greater in me than he that is in the world. I speak the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses, purifies & washes us whiter than snow and brings the goodness and grace of God to bear in our lives, our marriage, our friendship & our future and hope. 

I cancel the effect of discouragement that distracts us from building a strong, godly wall of protection and peace around us.

We have overcome by the blood of the the Lamb and the word of our testimony.

I break my agreement with bitterness. I break my agreement with offenses. I break my agreement with being judgmental and critical. I break my agreement with rejection, abandonment and betrayal. I break my agreement with keeping myself isolated to protect myself, in the name of Jesus.

I will not engage the enemy. I will send my arrow prayers out to God to keep my mind steadfast on my victory and on the promises of God! 

Instead of keeping my mind on the battle, the doubts and the fears that the enemy wants to put on me, I will not leave my calling or life purpose to engage the enemy.

Hallelujah and praise God for the victory that I have in Christ Jesus.

(I will practice my arrow prayers straight to the Lord)

Amen”

Thank you, Linda for a powerful Crafted Prayer!! In fact several years ago Linda and Burr came to see me and pray over me for healing. I love how God surrounds me with the comfort of loving, sacrificial friends! 

And now God has provided the resources for me to go visit them for the next 2.5 weeks where I’m being pursued by God around the clock. I will get to be restored and loved on by these beautiful humans where we will hike in the rocky hills of Kodels Canyon in Colorado National Monument and in surrounding geological formations.  

Additionally here are the verses I listen to every day. Seriously, this link has the most inspiring audio of scripture verses that describe who I truly am in Christ. THIS must be my focus or I get swallowed up in thoughts not from God. If I go to sleep listening to these biblical truths, and if I wake in the middle of the night, I listen again until I fall asleep. If I don’t, then the enemy just replays the negative tapes in my mind that I am experiencing and I unravel. So no matter the heart ache I feel, I must take action to heal and grow and have no expectation that others will meet my needs. Only Christ. Yes, only Christ meets my needs!

Thankfully during this painful growth season I have the love of family and friends to offer something that I am especially grateful for, hugs and laughter of innocent babies and a tender relationship with my own children who love me so well. I was blessed to spend the past 2.5 weeks in Florida at my daughter and son-in-law’s home where my grandchildren filled my hurting heart with love that only babes can offer. The joy of hanging out as a family is the best distraction during a time of waiting in the Lord.

I am honestly excited to see how God directs my thoughts and helps me move into what He desires for me! This week I’ll be reading a book called The Longing In Me by Sheila Walsh recommended by my sweet friend Jordan. I invested in my personal development by purchasing a relationship workshop called The Conflict Cure and I am very excited to see what God has in store for me there! 

What I’m learning is that I’m never done learning and sometimes life’s challenges seem to come quickly and unexpectedly. And if I give in to the enemy’s lies, the grief, the stress and despair… then satan wins. I love this verse Linda’s shared with me where I am reminded that it is ONLY God and His Word that can be trusted with my frame. This photo is exactly where God has placed me feet this week…literally upon the Rock!