Day Nov. 28, 2016 Getting The Yips 3 Days Before Surgery

I am getting the Yipps!

Ever since I was young, when my dad was excited about some event, like leaving for a fishing trip, he would get up very early, which for him was probably 3 a.m. and he would get the Yips. That is best described as pacing, checking and rechecking all his gear and luggage, and frenetically doing whatever he could think of before departing.

I am sensing that I, too, am beginning to get the Yips, but more out of some anticipation of surgery. So today, I am checking off my list, staying busy with winterizing our lawn and garden beds, grocery shopping for when mom gets here, getting little tasks done, etc...but I can feel the adrenaline starting to ramp up.

I have lots of thoughts going through my mind like: Will I wake up from surgery with lymph nodes being negative or will they all be harvested under my armpit because they were positive? Will I wake up!? How will I feel after surgery? Will I like the radiologist I am meeting on Wednesday at Atrium Hospital? How will my boob look after surgery? Will I remember to do all the prep correctly before surgery? Will I be able to blog after surgery? How long will my mom need to stay? When will I be comfortable sleeping on my tummy again and will it be hard to sleep on my back after surgery? When will I know how many weeks of radiation will I need? I wonder what my final pathology will be after surgery?  Will I feel well enough by Dec. 12 for my anniversary to do something? Do I have my affairs in order in case I don't wake up?! Oh gosh, that's a strange thought, but it's there.

That's all for now. I need to go read and sip tea.  This chick needs to calm it down!

1:10 am Tuesday. Couldn't sleep. Tossed and turned in bed after bizarre dream so I went downstairs to read. After downing a seltzer water and munching on a few chips I settled on the sofa in the Wilderness room with my twinkle lit tree that we keep up all year. Twinkle lights make me happy. I read a bit then dozed off til the garbage truck awakened me. I keep thinking about my surgery. Definitely got the Yips!