Last Christmas in Springboro

Last year we imagined it would be our last one here in Springboro, OH, not because of my breast cancer diagnosis but because we thought the WonderVan would be done and we wouldn’t be living here. Over the past 2 years I’ve been selling, packing up or giving away everything including our kitchen table, dishes and Christmas decorations/tree!! However, although the WonderVan is going to be a true WONDER, it’s not quite done yet! John works on it tirelessly and I’m truly in awe of the details and engineering wonder this is going to be when all is said and done!

Because of the scarcity of things we now have in the house, my home has zero holiday decorations!!

 

I did however buy festive paper plates to eat on our card table!! 

I’m reminded that Christmas is not about any of the material bling (although it’s so fun to look at especially at my Fun-in-Laws house…aahemmm, Lorna Miller, a direct descendant of Santa himself!!) but for me it’s about remembering Jesus’ birth, my beloved Jewish Messiah who came to earth exactly as promised in the holy books of Isaiah and Micah! And having no secular distractions helped me keep that perspective this year.

It’s also about being with loved ones. This year I got lots of time with my kids and I’m so grateful!

We also got to spend it with some dear friends, the Slanakers!! 

This little bundle of joy got lots of loving and saw Santa many times including 2 of them being her grandpas!!

I also carried on my tradition of making baked children, as I call them, AKA gingerbread men!!

And we keep the tradition of the kids going out into the community and finding some folks in need and blessing them! It truly was a year of Gratitude!

One of my sweetest and mostest precious gifts was time with my granddaughter. We had our first Granita and Papa John sleep over and what a better way to punctuate it than with the tasting of a lemon! This girl knows the best fruit when she tastes it!! How appropriate that an Italian Granita feeds grandchild 🍋 lemon and she loved it! She literally said, ‘Yummmm’ after making a sour face and going back for more! 

Then as per our tradition, John and I spent Christmas Day out in nature. This year we paddled in our new canoe and hiked on an island in Caesar Creek where John camped 45 years ago!!

To wind up the Christmas season we enjoyed seeing John’s sister, Maria. Sadly she’s the only one of his family we get to enjoy but that’s where we praise God for friends and family we DO get the gift of time with. God provides and heals in ways we never expected to need yet here we are incredibly blessed! We can all choose GRATITUDE if we focus our hearts and minds on it from a Heavenly perspective. 

My Christmas Gift and A Birthday Shout Out

Yesterday was my big testing day as I had a CT of my chest and abdomen and a CT bone scan of my entire body to look for the status of cancer compared to the last PET scan I had in 4/2022.

My day started out early, and I was blessed with a beautiful, beautiful sunrise as I drove to Columbus, Ohio.

When I arrived, I met with the clinician who attempted to access my port, but she struggled and ended up doing an IV. She then injected some radioactive juice into my veins that had to swirl around for three full hours before they could get my CT scans. I was handed a gigantic bottle of something labeled, Pure Life water, but the irony is, I could see a funky appearance in it that made me realize it was anything but pure! This was some other Radioactive solution in the water that I had to drink and it tasted kind of gross, but I managed.

The results from my first scan came in to mychart, and I was able to read them myself, and realized that everything looked great! I was so thankful…

I then headed over to my infusion center to get my every 3 week dose of Herceptin and Perjeta. I was so tired that I put on my eyeshades to nap. I looked super sexy between the 3D eyeshades that look like a training bra over my eyes and the mask covering my mouth and nose, but the rest was welcomed, regardless. 

Following my infusion I did ring my Gratitude Bell and one of the ladies at the front desk made an “awwww” sound and said that it sounded so sweet! I’m bummed that they haven’t put my poem up with it yet and the nurse who worked with me didn’t know anything about it. Disappointing that it seems like if they don’t know about it, how would patients know what it’s there for?! I think I’ll call the nurse manager and encourage her to tell ALL the nurses about it so they can talk to patients about it. 

While finishing up my infusion, I saw the MyChart results come in from my bone scan, so I made the common mistake of reading them and was not as confident as to their interpretation. This is one down side to results coming in for patients to view without a doctor’s perspective. I should have known better!

The bone scan had concerns and I would understand it better on Friday when I have my telehealth appointment scheduled, but here's the part I read that freaked me out :

NUC BONE SCAN WHOLE BODY, 12/20/2023 11:50 AM

 CLINICAL INDICATIONS: Breast cancer, invasive, stage IV

COMPARISON: Correlated with prior outside PET/CT 4/21/2022

INCREASED asymmetric radiotracer uptake in the right mid shaft femur, corresponding to hypermetabolic focus on PET/CT. (This is what caught my attention!!)

 Multifocal increased radiotracer uptake in the bilateral ribs correlate with remote rib fractures on same day chest CT. There is heterogeneous mild uptake throughout the lower thoracic and lumbar spine and upper sacrum.

 IMPRESSION: Focal uptake in the right mid femur, corresponding to hypermetabolic focus on PET/CT, CONCERNING (I capitalized this because it was the word that made ME concerned!) for metastatic disease.

Heterogeneous mild uptake in the spine and upper sacrum, likely corresponding to known metastatic disease.

“BREATHE TRICIA!!”, is what I kept telling myself, but in reality, I started to spiral a bit in my thoughts. What-ifs played out multiple scenarios in my imagination from me lying in my bed with disintegrating bones and being bedridden to wondering what it’s like to actually die from metastatic breast cancer if the bones crumble away.  “BREATHE TRICIA! Don’t go there!”

At this time I contacted my oncologist to see if they could review my test results with me before Friday, which is when it was scheduled. Two full days of me imagining the worst is too much stress in my body.

At this point, I would ask my readers to stop reading and click here to listen to the song that has gotten me through the past year and a half. Whether you’ve listened to it 100 times, or never before, to really connect with where I was going in my spirit, I would love it if you would just pause, close your eyes and listen, then come back and finish reading.

Unexpectedly, two hours later, Dr. Johnson, my new oncologist, called me to review my test results. “BREATHE TRICIA!! You’ll be okay!” 

I was shocked and elated when he said that he was pleased with everything he was reading and that the report about my femur was nothing new compared to April 2022 but because today was a CT bone scan and the previous one was a PET scan, they looked somewhat different, but he doesn’t think it is worrisome. In fact, it’s not even a mass or tumor in my femur, just something small hiding that we will monitor closely. He said everything on your scans has improved since the 4/22 scans!!! Either the previous masses are no longer present or the fractures are healed or they are unchanged, but nothing has increased or gotten worse in his opinion! “BREATHE TRICIA!!” 

So this was such sweet relief and tears just began rolling down my cheeks. I needed to process. I needed a moment. I needed to say thank you to God and exhale once again. Merry Christmas to me! The best gift of a good report! 

What I learned from this was that I need to mentally prepare myself for test results regardless of whether they are what I am expecting and hoping or the opposite. Would I carry gratitude in my heart if the report was not favorable? Would I sing my Gratitude worship song if Dr Johnson had bad news? Yes, I believe I would, but I realize that it would be after a time of grieving. Regardless of my situation… God is always good, and I am always in His tender care. Nothing in my life goes unnoticed by Him, and I am reminded of a verse in Philippians 1:21 “For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain!”

Now, for a little shout out to one of my dearest friends, Cindy A, who was, and still is my dear “Neighbor” even though we haven’t lived next to each other for about 20 years. I celebrate her birthday today and many years of a sweet friendship.

Mishmosh, Miracles and NoFear

My new Whole Food Plant Based (WFPB) way of eating has continued to be fun and colorful as you can see here. I’ve discovered that food prepping several meals at once helps me to not spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen. I throw what’s in my fridge together and get a mishmosh of dishes. Here’s one of my not so simple salads! I also have been grateful for continued support from folks who are on this journey with me of having a cancer diagnosis and making daily choices to feed our bodies food medicine aka organic plants! It’s been a week of new recipes and new books, new information and new results!

 

Here one of my

 angels, Kelly, gets Dr Greger’s book, ‘How Not To Die’ signed which I actually read a few years ago thanks to my old neighbor, Bonnie T. This guy is totally quirky but his knowledge about nutrition and WFPB is off the charts. I’m really on a quest to educate myself and hopefully as I do I can influence others in my inner circle of the benefits of choosing more wisely so they don’t have to experience a terminal diagnosis before they wake up and realize how their food choices literally cause or strongly contribute to so many of their own mental and physical ailments. But as I realized for myself, we aren’t ready until we are. One resource I discovered this week was about Nutrition Facts.

Then came the BEST news of the week…my miracles! 

I had a mammogram and echocardiogram on Wednesday. The mammogram revealed that the previous tumor that I was told I had in my left breast was not detectable…that’s right!! GONE-ZO!! 

And if you read my previous blog, there was a serious concern about my echocardiogram from November 2023. My oncologist immediately got me in to see a cardiac specialist because it looked like from one of the numbers they check that my GLS or Globular Longitudinal Strain number went from -19 in August 2023 to -14 in November 2023, which is bad bad. It shouldn’t rise above -16 and mine climbed 5 points. They couldn’t tell me why other than to say that it’s an indicator of future heart damage leading to Congestive Heart Failure. While a little shift could have been operator error, I was told that 5 points was serious, regardless. So hooked me up they did and the second miracle came in to clear view!! It went back to a normal number and even surpassed the August reading! It came in at -20.2!!! So, whether it was operator error, an actual improvement because of my change in eating habits or a legit unexplainable miracle, I’m calling it a miracle because it is! John and I celebrated the good news and went to my favorite local mountain bike park, John Bryan State Park! I sang my favorite Brandon Lake song, Gratitude, out loud on the trail and while pedaling my bike named NoFear through the forest and I sense God’s Presence so strongly! It’s like He was saying, “I got you, daughter! I have more work for you so you’re gonna be here a while longer!”

New Diet, New Doctor, New Donations

Just before Thanksgiving some of my readers might know that I listened to this podcast and in a moment my life shifted. I didn’t think to myself, “Huh, that’s interesting.” then carry on to the next thing without giving it a second thought. I paused and silently asked myself what’s preventing me from taking that leap into a solid and committed decision to radically change my day to day choices in exactly what food and drink I put into my pie hole?! I’ve avoided this drastic leap in the past because I told myself that a balanced healthy, mostly organic diet was great enough for me. I held to the understanding that wild caught fish, farm fresh free range eggs, grass fed beef, and even organic wine were actually good for me. I allowed myself a little, then a lot, of freedom to eat desserts so long as I didn’t have too much. All in all, I told myself it wasn’t highly processed crappy food so I considered it good enough. Now in hindsight it has taken a terminal cancer diagnosis, a new and wonky echocardiogram and a supportive and health crazed sister to finally push me to a point where I not only have the knowledge, but the determination to make the choice to commit to a new way of eating every day without excuse. My hubby agrees to support me, and eats what I’m making but still asks for the added cheese, meat and wine with his meals so we work well together. 

Now I’m reading as much as I can to learn more every day. I’ve also been open minded to other life style eating changes that are radical and popular now like the carnivore diet but that just doesn’t sit well with me. I’ve also learned this week about all the nutritional needs I should be aware of by eating a Whole Food Plant Based diet and have decided on how I will supplement mostly for vitamin B12 but also for other trace minerals and I came up with one multivitamin that covers it all so I’m not popping multiple a pills or droppers for folate, iodine, iron, selenium, copper, zinc and B12 too. It was a bit overwhelming at first to figure it out but I came up with simply have one supplement that covers it all and now I checked off that box. 

The movie Forks Over Knives also was so encouraging this week as were several other videos. I’m not professing that my cancer diagnosis will go away because of this diet change but I know for a fact that my choices will improve my life and avoiding chances for other chronic illnesses like type 2 diabetes, dementia & heart disease which all run in my family. It means I now food shop differently and travel with my own prepared food in tow. It means I get up and walk away when the strong temptation is under my nose or from those who haven’t learned the value of saying no to even a little bit cuz “it won’t kill ya!” That might be fine for others but for me, it just might! I’m having fun with new recipes, I’m very grateful for a spouse who listens to all my videos (while drinking a sugary lemonade or beer and eating Fritos and cheese!), for a support group of others who have made the switch and I’m proud of myself for going for it! 

This week I met with a new doctor who is a cardiologist that specializes in treating cancer patients who get heart damage from the drugs given to treat their cancer. Dr. Potter decided that, in short, he isn’t putting me on medications at this time but would rather do a second echocardiogram to make sure it’s accurate because there are 2 numbers they look at and for some odd reason they didn’t really coincide so he wants to be sure there wasn’t operator error. So next week I’ll have a second echocardiogram. 

Then for the fun news!!!! Last night my husband John, aka Santa, participated in an event my former sister-in-law, Debbie, graciously put on in my honor called A Gratitude Gathering! It was a way to have a social time with her friends and people in her community that centered around my Gratitude Bell! I got to share my story with many of them and everyone rang the Bell, there were also 2 ladies who wanted to buy a Gratitude Bell and because of the generosity of Bevin Bells company who makes and sells my bells, I was able to donate 2 Gratitude Bells to Cancer treatment centers of their choice from the sale of their bells!! Now my vision of getting a Gratitude Bell in cancer treatment centers is starting to bloom as St. Louis will be the next city to have my bells. Thanks to Linda of Ellbee’s General Store and a lovely woman also named Debbie who’s late brother-in-law had leukemia, I’ve been richly blessed in being able to ring in 2 more centers!!

Turkey-less Thanksgiving Week

Since my last post I’ve been grateful to travel to both Florida for my granddaughter’s 1st birthday

and to Northern Illinois to see my family and friends for Thanksgiving! 

When I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in April 2022, I had 3 goals (thanks to the encouragement of my dear friend Brenda Z) and that was to experience my granddaughter’s birth, celebrate my 10 year anniversary to my husband and ride my mountain bike again! Considering the seriousness of the metastasis into my lungs, we all knew that only a miracle would allow that to happen. I was on oxygen and very weak in 2022!

But I was still grateful for every moment God gave me, for however many more days or hours. 

And here I am 19 months later…now celebrating my granddaughter’s 1st birthday,

 coming up on 11 years of marriage

2012

2023
and getting ready to live my life in our WonderVan full time with our Northstar canoe and mountain bikes strapped on for the next adventure!! 

Both John and I flew into Florida’s sunny weather for the party where we thoroughly enjoyed the time with our loved ones and were grateful for the sunshine and 75-80 degrees. What an answer to so many prayers to love and be loved by these treasures! 

Then back in Ohio for one day and we got to sup with some friends and found an excuse for John to wear his new authentic Lochcarron Weavers Scottish kilt! For those of you with curious minds who are wondering, yes, he wears it properly. 😘

Then on to the chilly north where we visited lots of our favorites. We started a new tradition by dressing in black on Black Friday and dining at Rockford’s new fine dining restaurant that provided for us the best dining experience John and I have ever tasted in our lives at my niece’s beau’s restaurant called SALT. 

I also experienced Thanksgiving in a whole new way…Vegan/Whole Food Plant Based. Thanks to everyone for supporting me but especially my mama

who bought lots of organic veggies, my niece Theresa who offered to make me her vegan ratatouille and my sister Melissa who is on the same eating healthy journey as me

and my precious friend Wendy who generously

blessed me with freshly picked garden greens including her delicate and delicious mache… it was an easy and enjoyable, guiltless, life giving weekend of culinary foods and juices! 

Even though I made 3 batches of fudge with my Aunt Ro,

I was very disciplined and had none of the delicious Salted Caramel liquor nor any pieces of the chocolate peppermint, chocolate salted caramel or chocolate peanut butter fudge! Not an easy decision considering how scrumptious this iced holiday beverage is!! 

As for my why? The reasons have been a long time coming. I’ve made many health changes since being diagnosed with breast cancer over the past 6 years. But I have wavered back and forth between healthy food choices and not so healthy ones. However after my last echocardiogram,

I received a call from my oncologist and was informed that my heart is starting to show signs of damage from the medication I am getting in my infusion, particularly the Traztuzumab (Herceptin). While it can be life saving from cancer, it can cause heart damage too. Gratefully, there’s a medication that can help reverse the damage. So although I’m getting yet another infusion tomorrow, I’ll meet my new doctor who is a specialist in this area. Dr Adam Potter will be my oncology cardiologist starting December 6. So that’s what tipped me over the edge of radically changing my eating habits. I think many of us struggle to make changes in our eating lifestyle unless or until we are faced with a diagnosis that scares the bejeebers out of us! Thankfully there are a few others in my life who chose to eat radically and make it easier on me to choose well. Lys H, Wendy T, and Kelly I. for you I am grateful. When I listened to this radiation oncologist share her explanation of eating Whole Food Plant Based, that’s when I switched in my mind. It was a moment of intentional decision making. I simply decided and informed those in my inner circle and asked them to support me. Gratefully everyone is understanding. Does it mean that I’ll never ever EVER touch animal products, like cheese, eggs or meat again? Does it mean I’ll never take a sip of an alcoholic beverage again? Does it mean I’ll never savor a delicious sweet sugary dessert again? No, it doesn’t. But it will be far and few between and not my norm. My body will thank me and my loved ones will thank me as it will make me live longer and healthier than ever with this crazy diagnosis! 

As for my Gratitude Bell, I know many of my friends and family have purchased one from Bevin Bells and hung theirs in a special place to ring it. What an honor!!! This one is very special to me. My hygienist friend Karen D bought and hung this. Her beloved husband went home to Jesus about one year ago after fiercely battling cancer!! 

In a couple weeks I have my first Gratitude Gathering Event put on by my former sister-in-law Debbie where I’ll get to support her Artisan Christmas Gathering and art show. It is still my dream to see these in every cancer treatment center for those of us with stage 4 so if anyone wants to help me promote this cause please buy one for your local cancer treatment center and ask them to hang it next to their Victory Bell. Share this with them and hopefully tomorrow I’ll get to ring MY Gratitude Bell at The Stephanie Spielman Comprehensive Cancer Treatment Center when I get my next infusion. If that happens, I’ll post another blog very soon sharing it!!

So a blessed and grateful day to everyone reading this. 

PS I have never heard from Brandon Lake who wrote and sings my favorite song, Gratitude. I mailed him a Gratitude Bell a few weeks ago but I have no idea if he received it.