My Christmas Gift and A Birthday Shout Out

Yesterday was my big testing day as I had a CT of my chest and abdomen and a CT bone scan of my entire body to look for the status of cancer compared to the last PET scan I had in 4/2022.

My day started out early, and I was blessed with a beautiful, beautiful sunrise as I drove to Columbus, Ohio.

When I arrived, I met with the clinician who attempted to access my port, but she struggled and ended up doing an IV. She then injected some radioactive juice into my veins that had to swirl around for three full hours before they could get my CT scans. I was handed a gigantic bottle of something labeled, Pure Life water, but the irony is, I could see a funky appearance in it that made me realize it was anything but pure! This was some other Radioactive solution in the water that I had to drink and it tasted kind of gross, but I managed.

The results from my first scan came in to mychart, and I was able to read them myself, and realized that everything looked great! I was so thankful…

I then headed over to my infusion center to get my every 3 week dose of Herceptin and Perjeta. I was so tired that I put on my eyeshades to nap. I looked super sexy between the 3D eyeshades that look like a training bra over my eyes and the mask covering my mouth and nose, but the rest was welcomed, regardless. 

Following my infusion I did ring my Gratitude Bell and one of the ladies at the front desk made an “awwww” sound and said that it sounded so sweet! I’m bummed that they haven’t put my poem up with it yet and the nurse who worked with me didn’t know anything about it. Disappointing that it seems like if they don’t know about it, how would patients know what it’s there for?! I think I’ll call the nurse manager and encourage her to tell ALL the nurses about it so they can talk to patients about it. 

While finishing up my infusion, I saw the MyChart results come in from my bone scan, so I made the common mistake of reading them and was not as confident as to their interpretation. This is one down side to results coming in for patients to view without a doctor’s perspective. I should have known better!

The bone scan had concerns and I would understand it better on Friday when I have my telehealth appointment scheduled, but here's the part I read that freaked me out :

NUC BONE SCAN WHOLE BODY, 12/20/2023 11:50 AM

 CLINICAL INDICATIONS: Breast cancer, invasive, stage IV

COMPARISON: Correlated with prior outside PET/CT 4/21/2022

INCREASED asymmetric radiotracer uptake in the right mid shaft femur, corresponding to hypermetabolic focus on PET/CT. (This is what caught my attention!!)

 Multifocal increased radiotracer uptake in the bilateral ribs correlate with remote rib fractures on same day chest CT. There is heterogeneous mild uptake throughout the lower thoracic and lumbar spine and upper sacrum.

 IMPRESSION: Focal uptake in the right mid femur, corresponding to hypermetabolic focus on PET/CT, CONCERNING (I capitalized this because it was the word that made ME concerned!) for metastatic disease.

Heterogeneous mild uptake in the spine and upper sacrum, likely corresponding to known metastatic disease.

“BREATHE TRICIA!!”, is what I kept telling myself, but in reality, I started to spiral a bit in my thoughts. What-ifs played out multiple scenarios in my imagination from me lying in my bed with disintegrating bones and being bedridden to wondering what it’s like to actually die from metastatic breast cancer if the bones crumble away.  “BREATHE TRICIA! Don’t go there!”

At this time I contacted my oncologist to see if they could review my test results with me before Friday, which is when it was scheduled. Two full days of me imagining the worst is too much stress in my body.

At this point, I would ask my readers to stop reading and click here to listen to the song that has gotten me through the past year and a half. Whether you’ve listened to it 100 times, or never before, to really connect with where I was going in my spirit, I would love it if you would just pause, close your eyes and listen, then come back and finish reading.

Unexpectedly, two hours later, Dr. Johnson, my new oncologist, called me to review my test results. “BREATHE TRICIA!! You’ll be okay!” 

I was shocked and elated when he said that he was pleased with everything he was reading and that the report about my femur was nothing new compared to April 2022 but because today was a CT bone scan and the previous one was a PET scan, they looked somewhat different, but he doesn’t think it is worrisome. In fact, it’s not even a mass or tumor in my femur, just something small hiding that we will monitor closely. He said everything on your scans has improved since the 4/22 scans!!! Either the previous masses are no longer present or the fractures are healed or they are unchanged, but nothing has increased or gotten worse in his opinion! “BREATHE TRICIA!!” 

So this was such sweet relief and tears just began rolling down my cheeks. I needed to process. I needed a moment. I needed to say thank you to God and exhale once again. Merry Christmas to me! The best gift of a good report! 

What I learned from this was that I need to mentally prepare myself for test results regardless of whether they are what I am expecting and hoping or the opposite. Would I carry gratitude in my heart if the report was not favorable? Would I sing my Gratitude worship song if Dr Johnson had bad news? Yes, I believe I would, but I realize that it would be after a time of grieving. Regardless of my situation… God is always good, and I am always in His tender care. Nothing in my life goes unnoticed by Him, and I am reminded of a verse in Philippians 1:21 “For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain!”

Now, for a little shout out to one of my dearest friends, Cindy A, who was, and still is my dear “Neighbor” even though we haven’t lived next to each other for about 20 years. I celebrate her birthday today and many years of a sweet friendship.