Goodbye January, Hello February

I want to start with my favorite topic!! My sweet granddaughter and beautiful daughter are loving every minute! I can’t wait to see them soon!! She’s getting bigger by the day and is so much more smiley!

 This week I have enjoyed several hikes in the snow as LillyMae and I prepare for yet another hike in Wisconsin come May, 2023! According to my mountain biking coach friend, Brenda, we should be hiking 1 to 2 miles per day and at least one big hike every week of 5 to 7 miles! I love the conditioning for this trip so that we can really hit it hard this spring  as we continue hiking with her on the Ice Age Trail in Wisconsin. Oh! How much gratitude I have for my body’s ability to do this! Lord, I do not take it for granted! Thank You for the gift of life today!

John continues to work diligently on our WonderVan and I help as much as I can with some of the littler things. This week I sanded and painted the little arms that hold up our windows so they look nice with the rest of the van. I also did some research on window coverings for when we are stealth and need to be insulated and look off grid. To help me visualize the interior that he’s starting on, he built the cabinets out of cardboard so we could “see it” and make changes before he starts cutting final pieces  this week he’s working on in-floor heating!

As much as my breathing seemed to improve for a couple days and feel back to normal with only 1 to 3 incidences of shortness of breath, I am keeping track of the timing today, Thursday, and it is anywhere between five minutes and two hours between shortness of breath episodes. I have reported this to my oncologist, who is wanting me to keep her informed of any changes, but for now it should be fine to just monitor.

Here it is now Monday and the shortness of breath has been noticeable but not every 5 minutes apart anymore.  It’s more like every few hours. We still aren’t certain of why, but it isn’t stopping me from doing anything.  At the time of me writing this (11:00am), I have not had the shortness of breath even one time today!! Whoop whoop!

I’m so thankful I have my son, Jonathan, who lives 30 minutes away, so we can spend some quality mother/son time together. Whether it’s cooking or cleaning, hiking, or organizing, we have fun doing practically anything together! It is especially sweet to spend time with him now knowing that I will be moving into the Wondervan and traveling away into the world within the next few months. He also has his sights set on moving to Mexico temporarily so our visits in person will be significantly less which makes each time we’re together now that much sweeter. 

Saturday I got to meet with an old friend, Dr Eric Henize! He was my boss for 10 years and we had a habit of meeting monthly for a long time at Northstar Café but with holidays and other distractions, we hadn’t met for several months so needless to say it was lovely to see him again and get caught up on life and family! I’m really appreciative for so many people that have maintained friendships after many years. 

This week I have finished a book by Gary Thomas called Sacred Pathways, recommended to me by my sweet friend Brooklyn, who is getting her masters degree in counseling, and shared that it is a great read. I love how the book explores nine different ways we can relate to and interface with God based on our spiritual personalities. It also helped me to not sit in judgment of people that experience their relationship with God differently in expressing and connecting to Him in a more traditional, activist or ascetic approach. 

Saturday night John and I finally got to hang out with dear friends, Trace and Deb, for our “Christmas” visit. Dumb Covid then pneumonia messed up our plans in December. But are we ever eternally grateful they got through it. Both Deb and I are immune compromised so getting sick can become a little scary for either of us. Yet their faith is bigger than fear and we laughed until we cried! Don’t ask what’s happening here in this photo other than to say Deb was getting what she asked for by her hilarious and loving hubby!! A big fat 5 second smooch!!

As I look through my week’s photos I am humbled by the love so many show to me like the surprise call from my former sister in law, Debbie K!! It’s like God just pours out His love all over my life with oodles of people! Deb has always held a special place in my heart! 

Then on Sunday my 2nd cousin, Todd, and his wife, Pam, came for an overnight stay in their travels from Ohio back to Illinois. We commented on how grateful we are that our great grandparents who eventually had 15 kids, braved the travel at a young age, across the Atlantic on a ship from England to New York, with the first 5 boys, to move to America! Those 15 kids grew up and got married and had kids! Then they had kids of which we are in that generation! For many years they had family reunions and because of those precious and sacred memories on Uncle Lenny’s farm so many friendship with cousins developed! To this day I hear from several of them even though we are miles or years apart! Both God and blood keep our bonds tight! 

Today I had a routine echocardiogram at The James Cancer Center. I’m thankful to report that I’m pleased with the results!! I’ve been told that the drugs I’m given can cause heart damage. 

Yet another week has past and I’m happy to be able to do and see so much! I love that my faith is sweeter and stronger because of my diagnosis. I love how I see so much kindness, love and friendship grow especially due to my situation. I’m often shocked as people tell me that my blog inspires them. Honestly I don’t get it because I feel like I’m just living my life but if something I say or do can inspire another to encourage or point them to God then I’m the one who is truly blessed. I think of Angie at my church whom I hardly know yet on Sunday she was about in tears sharing the work God is doing in her life through my blog. Well, ALL praise to our Heavenly Father that can draw others to Him through my story. 

Holding on to Beauty Despite the Unknown

Wednesday: infusion day at The James, Stephanie Spielman Breast Center. A six hour day that took 30 minutes to administer my Herceptin and Perjeta! The 1.5 hour drive there, the check-in process, the vitals, the port access, the saline drip while waiting for the meds to be prepared, the meds, the drive home and for the first time in my life…the event of running out of gas while driving home on the highway!

Left the house at 6:45 am and arrived back home at 12:30 pm! I’m so very thankful for the facility and my doctor and especially for my insurance! I found out recently when considering changing from my COBRA plan that will cost me an additional $7200 more this year in premiums (thanks Anthem!) than last year. Also those 2 drugs that I get every 3 weeks and will for the rest of my life, costs $14,000 and $27,000 each! You read that right! That doesn’t include the 3rd drug I get every other visit!!! Holy cow! How can anyone be uninsured and have cancer treatments and survive?  I’m so very thankful for all the ways God has provided for me so I can get my treatments!

All went well with the drug’s administration and I distracted my mind and chose to keep my heart on positive, healthy thoughts by reading through a Rick Steve’s travel guidebook on Scotland. On my bucket list there are a few places I’d love to fully experience and the Scottish Highlands is one of them. Of course in my past before diagnosis it was the casual statement to say that “one day” I’d go to Scotland. However, when one is given a terminal stage 4 diagnosis, all those “one days” take on a different priority and meaning EVEN if I feel great and can almost pretend on most days that I’m perfectly healthy. Those are the days to make dreams a reality and jump into that bucket! Last week I mentioned to John that even though we have plans to live in the WonderVan and travel to our favorite places in America and Canada, that I don’t want Scotland to have to wait until maybe someday…so we are hoping to go to Scotland this summer! The planning is half the fun! 

Thursday: best part of my day was the privilege of waking up next to my adoring husband then spending time with friends, first a very special time with Cat and then dinner with my former coworkers and all these hugs, smiles, laughter and authentic friendships are precious to me. I thought after I was basically forced into retirement by the diagnosis back in April 2022 that I’d lose touch with the fine folks at Advance Dentistry in West Chester, but when God puts people in my life that choose to stay, I graciously and humbly just say, “Thank you!” and receive their gift of love and acceptance. 

Friday started with finishing an interesting little book with my friend in France, Judy, as we continue our wonderful chats about how God is miraculously working in both our lives! An acquaintance of mine wrote it and it’s called ‘Messiah’s Star’ by Michael Dourson. A fascinating little read that discusses astrological discoveries on the probable dates surrounding Jesus’s birthday, based on new software and planetary/constellation movement, placement and conjunctions. According to these technological advances, Jesus was likely born June 17, 2BC. 

Then I made sure I got out on a couple short hikes. The first was with my dear, dear friend, Doni O who has a heart of pure gold! I got to take her to my bench at Patricia Allyn for the first time.

In the afternoon, LillyMae and I cranked it up a notch and power walked 2 miles! The reward was a most glorious waterfall tucked in the woods at Patricia Allyn park.

I arrived home to see my kitchen transformed. This week I sold our dining room table and chairs in preparation for WonderVan life. Now we are eating on a card table!! I couldn’t be more excited!! 

Saturday: I woke up to enjoy a warm cuppa and decided to update Dr Sudheendra, my oncologist, at The James on some physical changes I’m noticing. Here is what I wrote to her:

“I wanted to fill you in on some updated changes.

First, regarding the blisters on my left foot, the old ones are healing nicely, however, the evening of my last infusion, a new small one started on my left heel. They do not hurt nor itch.

Next, my right hand has developed some dry skin patches. The one closest to my fingers does not itch however, the patch closer to my wrist does.

Next, I have mentioned that my hands started developing more swelling and fingertips have more neuropathy with tingling, but I did not mentioned how I have noticed weakness in my hands. It is very challenging to open a jar lid, pull a can tab, or twist a stiff door knob.

Lastly, I have mentioned in the past that occasionally, I will have to take a little breath, as if I am short of breath. Yesterday was quite different. I noticed throughout the entire day, a slight change in my breathing in general, where I would take several more breaths throughout the day, like I was short of breath and my chest felt a little tight. I will keep you posted on that since it is new. My O2 saturation this morning was 96 at rest and I could only get it up to 98 with great effort. My pulse was between 74 and 80 at rest. This concerned me enough that the mini O2 tanks with the backpack that I have still and was going to return this weekend, I decided to keep just in case I might need it if things get worse. I am still exercising and did great with a 2 mile walk, however, I wanted you to be aware of this change.”

By the end of Saturday I am loathe to say that my breathing didn’t return to normal and throughout the entire day I was keenly aware of continued breathing distress. It’s minor but I’m very aware of the same sensation. I could feel fear creep in so I’m holding on to this truth.

Sunday: At 3:30 AM I woke up with the words of a children’s book in my mind that I started to compose. By 5:00 AM it was almost completed. I can’t wait to share this with my grand daughter someday! A little more sleep and we opened our eyes to THIS! 

Now that’s what I call God’s glory!! Six inches of freshly fallen snow! I could live in a place that snowed like this every day! Snow makes me as happy as sunshine!

Tuesday: Yesterday I got to visit with friends Lynn and Doug. I love that I have so many deep friendships that are rich in authenticity, spirituality, and are loving and fun! My friends are as diverse as the flowers in a field! I’m so grateful!

Last night John and I experienced a great Horned Owl in our woods. So majestic and I view even this as God showing up for me to say, “Tricia, look at this special treat I have for you to enjoy my creation!”

Today was more hiking with LillyMae in the snow and seeing the progress John’s making on our WonderVan building! 

And the miracle to report is that my breathing is mostly back to normal with only a shortness of breath happening a few times all day!!! THANK YOU GOD for answered prayers of healing. I watched The Chosen episode recently of the woman who touched the fringe of Jesus’ robe and he told her that her faith healed her. I believed that and proclaimed it in my body hoping that this was God’s plan for me once again. Here I am at my bench where I got to see beautiful Eastern Blue Birds flitting around in the pine trees!

(Not my photo but this is what we saw!)

Photo Blog this week

These photos aren’t in the correct order but honestly I’m too tired and lazy to delete them and re-upload them chronologically, so my readers will have to logically figure it out this week! 

Basically, I spent this week on a girl’s hiking trip in southeast Wisconsin with my favorite 13 year old, LillyMae, and our amazing, encouraging and hilarious friend and mountain bike coach, Brenda, as we covered four days of hiking the Ice Age Trail and sleeping in tents at night. 20° is pretty chilly to wake up to, but we accomplished our goals of hiking daily as many miles as our feet could tolerate for a total of about 27 miles altogether as we just about completed Jefferson and Waukesha Counties. We saw wild prairies, Pine Grove forests and old oak tree forests that were quite hilly. The sunrises over bucolic Wisconsin farms were glowing pink and lavender and probably a few dated from the 1800s. We also got to celebrate Brenda’s birthday with her favorite Keylime pie.

In the middle of the hiking trip I got to go to my niece’s baby shower where my crazy sisters were all in attendance with other family members. I can’t verbalize how blessed I am to call these three MY favorite sisters. I’m so blessed! Each one holds a sacred place in my heart! I love you Karen, Paula and Lys! 

 After the hiking trip ended, I was able to give LillyMae the experience of my favorite farm in America at Rich and Wendy’s in northern Illinois, where we were spoiled with delicious homemade organic food like the quiche below, liquid gold, which is fresh raw goat milk, and the experience of LillyMae milking her first goat! Wendy spoiled us as usual and this time we got to sit in her dry sauna where we finally thawed out after 3 nights of camping outside!

 

Florida Family Time

Perfect Florida weather for the last few days has been such a delight! Pure blue skies, and 75° weather is about as idyllic as one could hope for! The blooms on these orchid trees are intoxicating as I take my daily walks and enjoy the gift of physical exercise and family time.

I was able to head down to Naples, Florida to visit and spend time with my daughter & SIL, Sarah and Connor. And spending time with my granddaughter, where I can hold and cuddle her cozy little self, is one of the most joyful things a grandmother can have! I love how she’s so much more attentive, and even makes eye contact and starts to smile and interact with me now.

Physically, I am feeling great, and the blisters on my feet are mostly healed, however, a new little one started again today, but it doesn’t seem to affect my walking. It doesn’t hurt for the most part, so for that I’m thankful. I also called my oncologist to inform her that after the MRI and CT scans I noticed a random bruise above my port area and had no idea why.

Thankfully, it doesn’t hurt and it seems to be healing, so we are hoping that it’s nothing to be concerned about. She said there’s a possibility we may need to do some kind of a test where we check it with a dye and see if there could be a leak in the tubing connected to my port if it doesn’t go away, but I sure hope that’s not the case. Doesn’t sound like much fun. 

Here is a fun recipe for my foodie friends that my daughter shared with me. I do not like spicy food, so I thought this would be too hot because of the jalapeños, but it was not at all, and I thoroughly loved and enjoyed every bite! You want to try this while cranberries can be found. It’s called Christmas dip. 

Monday night I watched the most recent episode of The Chosen and cannot emphasize enough how I love this series and would encourage everyone to watch it! If you’re much of a reader of my blog you already know I love Jesus, but THIS video production is one that helps me fall in love with Jesus even more! It’s free to watch on the app by Angel Studios called The Chosen. 

Today, Tuesday, was a more relaxing day. Sarah and I got to go for a chilly and beautiful walk this morning then read together, hung out in the hot tub and snacked on a delicious appetizer dish while holding the grand baby as much as possible!!