Day December 9, 2016 Post Surgery Update and The First Christmas Party Of The Season Coming Up!

Medical reporting after surgery: My drain is showing less and less fluid accumulation now, but still not enough to remove it today. So with the weekend coming up, I have an appointment on Monday, December 12 to have the drain removed. Happy 4th Anniversary to me!

Also, I called Sue, the Patient Advocate Nurse for Dr. Manders, about the increased pain/burning/pulling I am having in my entire left arm. She assured me that it's normal, especially with having a drain and she expects it to improve once the drain is out. I also asked her about the scans that I will have next Tuesday, the CT and nuclear bone scan. These will let us know if there are cancers in other areas, especially since I was at a locally advanced stage due to the cancer being in my lymph nodes following chemo. When I inquired why we wouldn't check for brain cancer (I have read that that could be a place of metastases), she said that it's usually not the first place metastasis would take place. If the other places where they are checking come back positive, then we would look further, but not until then. I swallowed a little hard when we were talking about just how many lymph nodes were positive (6 0f 10) and I prodded a little for a reaction by saying, I had A LOT of positive nodes, and she agreed! But she did not know the percentage of probability that it could be in other areas and referred me to Dr. Cody for that number.

In the meantime, I am doing my little achy stretches multiple times daily and now waiting for Tuesday for my next phase, more scans.

I had a lovely long breakfast with a friend today at one of my favorite local spots, Another Broken Egg Cafe. We took a chilly walk in our woods and I plan on spending the rest of my afternoon with Cedric, my personal Apple guru and will attempt to install an external hard drive and fix my iCloud issues.

I must say, that I'm looking very forward to tomorrow when our friends, the Sobbs, will come over for our annual Christmas dinner and hopefully campfire where John and their daughter, Evi, will read the Christmas story from the Bible while we sip hot cocoa and watch the flames from the campfire lick at the cold air around us! Last year, we had a full moon and it was breath taking. Hopefully, it will be just as magical.

Day December 7, 2016 Excellent Pathology Report Following Surgery

Exhale.

Seems like I've been holding my breath since the surgery to find out my final pathology report. Thankfully, I can breathe. No more surgery needed! Dr. Manders was happy to tell me that the breast tumor had shrunk down to 9mm after chemo, which she successfully and skillfully removed ALL OF IT! There were clean margins, so no I have completed this phase of treatment. Additionally, the axillary lymph nodes that she removed were actually more involved than she originally tested during the actual surgery. At first, she tested the 5 sentinel lymph nodes and found that 3 were positive for cancer still. That is when she decided, with my prior consent, to do the full node dissection. Thank goodness she did because of the 10 nodes she removed, there were actually 6 that were positive.

Now on to healing more, then in a couple days my drain will be removed. Tomorrow I will schedule a CT scan of my abdomen, chest, and pelvis and some kind of a bone scan to check for further metastasis. Dr. Manders wanted those completed before I see the medical oncologist (the one who did my chemo) on December 19th so we know where things stand.

I was also referred to a Certified Lymphedema Specialist to do different therapies in order to prevent it. I  guess there are 12 weeks sessions I will need to complete, then we will reassess. I will be  seeing someone named Mary Oberle through The Christ Hospital for that.

And the final specialist I will see for the final phase of  treatment is Dr. Brad Huth through UC. He is a radiology oncologist and comes highly recommended by my surgeon. Supposedly I won't start that until the new year, though.

Mom heads back to Rockford, IL tomorrow morning and life goes on here. My house is nicely decorated for Christmas now and all my Christmas shopping is done, thanks to her!

So a huge part of me is so thankful that things continue to look promising, yet, I realize that there is still more testing and more treatment to endure until it is done done.

For now, I am simply thankful. Thankful to Jesus. Thankful to my caring husband, children, friends and family. Thankful to my doctors.

Day December 4, 2016 Surgery Completed & Spiritually Challenged

Much has happened since my last official blog entry. My mom came in to town from Rockford, IL to tend to my needs and be a support for both John and me with my surgery. There really is nothing quite like having my mom here. She and I have such ease when together and she is so pleasant to have just hang around. She's not overbearing, not too loud, not complaining, just perfect and I'm deeply thankful for the woman she is! She and John have a great time together, too, which makes is that much more pleasant for all of us. So to sum it up, having her here is effortless and joyful!  Thanks, Dad, who even gave her up for a week while he had his 74th birthday away from her so she could tend to me!

Next I'll talk details of Thursday...surgery day...
My morning started early at 5 a.m. with showering with prescription soap to prevent infection, then out the door by 6 a.m. with an overnight bag packed, just in case. I was very certain I would not be needing it as I was incorrectly confident that my lymph nodes under my armpit would be negative after chemo. The MRI was very promising! My greatest 'worry' was how getting the wire inserted into me would feel before surgery. I was told it was like getting my biopsy. Without expounding on that, let me just say that it did not make me feel excited about it since my biopsy, at least the second one, was pretty painful!

But much to my surprise, it was actually a breeze! I started the procedure in The Christ Hospital Medical Office Building where a radiation technologist performed mammograms to locate the metal markers in my breast and armpit in order for the radiologist, Dr. Cornwell, to insert the wires to both markers. Much to their dismay, finding the marker in my armpit was too challenging and the positioning of that mammogram was too uncomfortable to accomplish what they wanted, so I only got the one wire placed in my breast. The best part was how painless the anesthetic injection was, followed up with a needle to guide the wire which I did not even feel the pressure they said to expect!! Prayers answered! After that, I was wheeled to the surgical building where Dr. Manders was waiting for me.

Thankfully, I asked the anesthesiologist to use my port vs giving me an IV. I know I had some conversation with Dr. Manders and she met my husband and mom, but I don't really remember much after that other than I woke up after surgery with Dr. Manders by my side telling me I would need to stay the night as she found 3 of my 5 sentinel nodes still positive with cancer, so she had to remove the entire lymph node pad under my armpit.

Shock. Disbelief. Tears. Acceptance.

Those 4 things happened in about a 5 minute time frame.  Immediately, God put it on my heart that if I were to go home that day, I would not be meeting the nurses and hospital staff in the next 2 days that He planned on me talking to about Him. I trusted His prompting and knew my mission was defined. So from the gal that wheeled me from the surgical area to my hospital room to every nurse and Patient Care Advocate after that, I was determined to share with them these 3 things...1. God loves them and 2. He wants to be in a relationship with them and 3. He is closer to them than they may realize. With that directive, I gladly accepted my diagnosis and walked (actually rolled) into the next couple days with God's peace draped around me.

I had such remarkable care providers that were genuine and lovely for the next 2 days. I did not feel like I was just a number, but a person they lovingly cared for. I had the privilege of praying with one of the nurses and really enjoyed my stay there, overall. I told one of them that between the delicious dill salmon on the menu to the view out of my window at night, to the gentle massage my calves got from these wraps they put on my legs to prevent blood clots, I felt like I was in a Hilton Hospital! I never turned on the tv, but listened to my Pandora station "calm meditation" the entire time. I kind of felt like I was in a spa! If my life can make a difference for one of those ladies I talked to, I can better accept the fact that my lymph nodes were sliced out of me and this journey is not yet over.

So I went home with  pain pills to take, exercises to do to prevent scar tissue, a drain sewn into my armpit to drain every 8 hours, and some significant bruising and new scars to tend to. Thankfully, I have iced everything for the past few days and taken Percocet every 4 hours without fail for pain relief and have not experienced anything to really complain about. If I do not look at the scars and bruises, I could sit and not even know I just had surgery. The oxycodone does make me feel weird mentally and I know my thinking is off a bit with it, but it's better than the pain. But as of this afternoon, I am weaning myself off of it and just taking Tylenol.

To top it off, last night we even went to a friend of John's who lives in downtown Lebanon who had a Christmas party while the Lebanon Horse Parade went on. I went with them and we all had a grand time. Mostly I carefully sat and listened to  a group of ladies who sang accapella Christmas carols in the beautifully decorated house, then we watched the horse carriages pass by. I would not have done this if we did not have the protection of Bess' house and yard to put distance between me and the  thousands of paraders on the street. It's hard to believe how comfortable I felt to be able to do something like that. Miracle, drugs...whatever it was, I am thankful I could go and show it all to my mom.

Now today, I am resting, we will decorate for Christmas, and I see a nap in my near future. I am thankful for all those who showered me with loving texts, calls, and flowers!

Next we will see how my pathology report comes back. There is still a chance I could have positive margins around the area in my breast. If I do, then more surgery. Additionally, I will now need to do a full body scan to rule out other metastasized areas since the nodes were positive. I'll have an appointment Wednesday to review the pathology and schedule the scan.

Day November 30, 2016 Praise That Tonight Can Say, It Is Well With My Soul

In nine hours I start the procedures to begin chapter 2 of treating the breast cancer. I will start with a wire insertion in both my breast and my armpit in order for the surgeon to better locate the marker where the tumor and lymph node was...I did say WAS because there is nothing there anymore for her to find  without the marker! That's a huge praise! Then my favorite surgeon ever, Dr. Jennifer Manders,

will successfully complete a lumpectomy and do a sentinel node biopsy. Depending on what the initial pathology looks like, I will either be done at that point or she may need to do more aggressive surgery on the lymph nodes and I would then stay the night. Honestly, I'm confident that I'll be home tomorrow night. 

So how am I, really?  Pretty excellent, to be honest. I have received many calls today and am being lifted in prayer by many, so I have a sense of  my most special loved ones covering me in prayer. I am a bit anxious about  that wire insertion part because I'll be awake for it and have to have needles stuck in me to get numb, but it will be over before I know it. Then when all is done, I'm looking forward to spending a week with my mama as she came down from Illinois to care for her favorite second daughter. :0) We may not go kayaking or anything as adventurous as that this week, but we will hopefully do a little baking, put up our Christmas decorations, and make a few more stops to DLM.

In fact, mom came with me today to my first consultation at a local radiation oncologist, Dr. Ryan Steinmetz. I liked him, but still will meet with one or two others before I decide on who I'm most comfortable with. Thankfully, my sister, Karen, is in the radiation oncology field in Milwaukee and gave me great questions to ask and what to look for.  Unfortunately, he informed me that I would need at least 6 weeks of radiation. I had originally heard 3-6 depending on my pathology, but he said that is not the case.

Then mom and I had a little excursion to Dorothy Lane Market and I fed her a couple delicious treats from their bakery, an almond-filled buttery croissant and a salted caramel coconut macaroon. Once we arrived home, my adoring and servant-hearted husband made us a scrumptious dinner with fresh wood grilled venison filets smothered in garlic butter, Apothic Dark  wine, grilled asparagus, and a salt roasted baked potato with sour cream and Kerry Gold butter. This was then topped off with  very tiny scoops of 4 flavors of ice cream with fresh black raspberry sauce I made last night and chocolate ganache. Ok...NOW I can go to sleep and have surgery. All is well with my tummy AND my soul.

So no matter what happens tomorrow, all truly is well and I love being in God's will. I trust Him. And if anyone has any doubts about that, please watch Dr. Mary Neal's  video. It totally changed how I view all of what has happened in my life since my diagnosis. It has been one of my personal greatest gifts since May 10th.

I'll leave you with this great song that speaks the words of my soul tonight. I can't wait to lift my hands and sing and worship with my Red Door family in a few weeks when I return. It's been too long since I've been regularly attending church, but the great news is I did not get sick and my immune system has been strong. So I'm mentally, physically and spiritually prepared for tomorrow.

Day Nov. 28, 2016 Getting The Yips 3 Days Before Surgery

I am getting the Yipps!

Ever since I was young, when my dad was excited about some event, like leaving for a fishing trip, he would get up very early, which for him was probably 3 a.m. and he would get the Yips. That is best described as pacing, checking and rechecking all his gear and luggage, and frenetically doing whatever he could think of before departing.

I am sensing that I, too, am beginning to get the Yips, but more out of some anticipation of surgery. So today, I am checking off my list, staying busy with winterizing our lawn and garden beds, grocery shopping for when mom gets here, getting little tasks done, etc...but I can feel the adrenaline starting to ramp up.

I have lots of thoughts going through my mind like: Will I wake up from surgery with lymph nodes being negative or will they all be harvested under my armpit because they were positive? Will I wake up!? How will I feel after surgery? Will I like the radiologist I am meeting on Wednesday at Atrium Hospital? How will my boob look after surgery? Will I remember to do all the prep correctly before surgery? Will I be able to blog after surgery? How long will my mom need to stay? When will I be comfortable sleeping on my tummy again and will it be hard to sleep on my back after surgery? When will I know how many weeks of radiation will I need? I wonder what my final pathology will be after surgery?  Will I feel well enough by Dec. 12 for my anniversary to do something? Do I have my affairs in order in case I don't wake up?! Oh gosh, that's a strange thought, but it's there.

That's all for now. I need to go read and sip tea.  This chick needs to calm it down!

1:10 am Tuesday. Couldn't sleep. Tossed and turned in bed after bizarre dream so I went downstairs to read. After downing a seltzer water and munching on a few chips I settled on the sofa in the Wilderness room with my twinkle lit tree that we keep up all year. Twinkle lights make me happy. I read a bit then dozed off til the garbage truck awakened me. I keep thinking about my surgery. Definitely got the Yips!

Day Nov. 26, 2016 Thanksgiving, Chemo Side Effects, And Prayer Request For My Upcoming Surgery

With Thanksgiving and Black Friday behind us, I can say, like many, that I have much to be thankful for. It started out with a very FULL week of Thanksgiving meals three days in a row, then on Thanksgiving morning, John calling me to say he got another deer and would I like to track it with him?! YES!! I just love those phone calls and to get it on Thanksgiving morning was reminiscent of when I was a kid and my dad and grandpa would hunt pheasant on Thanksgiving mornings.  Now our freezer is full again! Thank you, Lord, for your provision. As for Black Friday, whilst I dared not step into an actual store yesterday, I did shop for 2 much needed items via the web! Soooo much easier for me.

One thing I will mention publicly that I am thankful for, that I can't thank the person who did it because they did it anonymously :) is receiving in the mail a surprise $100 gift card to Dorothy Lane Market! Thank you, Anonymous, as it will come in handy in a huge way very soon! We are very blessed! Also, I just love this place and I actually take my friends and family there as an event! DLM, as we call it, holds a very special place in my heart. It's where I met my hubby for a 2nd date and when I knew I would marry him!

 As for how  I'm feeling this week, my chemo brain is so much better. I process much more normally in my thinking...at least  "I" think so!  My muscle fatigue is still very prevalent, especially in my quads. They ache and are weak and feel tight still ALL THE TIME! It does not mean I can't do things, but I do them slower and with some moaning , like when I walk up stairs. There is a tiny bit of tingling/numbness in my heels still but I hardly notice it.

Great news is I no longer have any metal taste when I eat and hot tea finally tastes good again. It's been 6 months since I wanted a cup of tea. Previously I was a 2 cuppa tea girl with a nice black tea English style with milk and honey. Fortunately, since I never have caffeine anymore,  I don't know if I want to start that addiction again.  But I will admit that  a lovely steamy mug of Irish tea with my only piece of my grandma's recipe of my homemade raspberry pie ala mode for breakfast yesterday was divine.

In addition to all that, I do have some not so great news. After my chemo, Dr. Cody ordered a Dexascan. Evidently the oncologist does this often post chemo because the steroids used long term can cause weakening in bones. A Dexascan checks for bone density. As I best understand it, I now have  Osteopenia. It is a low  bone mineral density and a precursor to Osteoporosis.  I will be calling the doctor on Monday to see to what degree mine is.

As for this beautiful week, I get to see my mama!! She will be my nursemaid for several days while I recover after surgery on Thursday. Please pray that my lymph nodes are now negative. The doctor told me that I have a 40% chance that they would be. This is why I chose to do chemo first! My chances of lymphedema are much less if they are negative because all I'll need is a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy. If they are still positive, then surgery will be more involved and all my lymph nodes under my armpit will have to be removed.

Day November 20, 2016 A Wonder/Binder Weekend In Red River Gorge and Many Thanks

Despite feeling pretty achy, in my legs especially, we ventured out to our Annual camping trip with the Binders. Sadly, one of the two Binder couples could not make it as the nasty fever, chills, flu-ish yuck hit the night before they were to leave. So we schlepped gear and food for 6, but only had 4. What a blessing that was! It was SO cold, that Graham and Monica Binder had to raid the sleeping bags/blankets of the other Binder couple who could not make it just to stay warm enough! Our chilly weekend could actually constitute our First Frozen Butt Hang of the season as it supposedly reached the high 20's last night!  We had a great time in our little haven with hammocks, campfires, nature, friends, delicious food, and of course the gator!

 Wild Sockeye Salmon with Garlic Butter!

 Graham and Monica enjoying roasted peppers and zucchini.

 Checking out the Daniel Boone Backcountry Byway map

 The last oak leaves showing their glory for our enjoyment!

 Graham perfecting garlic butter popcorn!

I admit, it was not so easy for me doing simple tasks like hanging my hammock or searching for firewood. I just tired too quickly for my liking, but everyone was understanding and it was a huge blessing to be outside in God's beauty for 3 straight days! John is continually my hero as he graciously and willingly helped hang all three hammocks and set up camp practically by himself.  I did what I could, but without his expertise and kindness, I would never have made it!

We camped literally right next to a creek and the area was beautiful. Thankfully, Graham and Monica helped us beautify the area even more as we collected practically EVERY nasty old beer can, plastic bottle, and whatever trash we saw on the trails as we played around the area. But we made it fun! Who would think picking up other people's trash could elicit so many laughs?! 

The serene view from my hammock.


We are home now and have a week full of activity, like the rest of America on this holiday week. Since one of the Binder  couples couldn't make it this weekend, they all will come over this week for a Wonder/Binder Thanksgiving meal so we finally can be together. Who knows, we may actually have open-fire roasted chestnuts or garlic buttered popcorn for dessert just like in the wilderness! But mostly this week I will be cleaning out the 4 tubs of left over food and gear and putting it all away until January. I doubt much camping will happen between now and then.

I am so very thankful that I don't let my muscle fatigue and weakness prevent me from doing those things I love most. I am living life fully, Jordan Pieniazek.

I am thankful for my husband, John, who cherishes me with every fiber of his being, even if I have no eyebrows, a grey fuzzy head, and am more tired than normal. Beyond blessed and I can't believe I have the privilege to be married to such a man as John Wonderly!

I am thankful for our friends who love to and are able to do the crazy things we enjoy like sleeping outside when it's 28 degrees.  And they actually love it!

I am thankful for my children who call me often to just say hi, tell me about their lives, and tell me they love me! My heart is full and your actions let me know how much you care! Thank you! Up, down, all around!

I am thankful for my all family and friends who hold a profoundly special place in my heart. I can't say enough how thankful I am for each and everyone...Too many to name, but you know who you are! You have visited, called, sent cards and gifts, and mostly you've prayed!

I am thankful that  God has given me today to celebrate life. I do not take it for granted.