Day 8 Eat, Love, Pray

Remember in Jim Carey's movie, The Grinch, when he shouted to the echo, "I'm an idiot!" Yeah, that was me this morning. Back up. So last Saturday, some dear young friends of ours got married. They are on their honeymoon in Costa Rica now. So while I told everyone about this diagnosis, I hadn't told them and didn't want to even have them hear about it until after they returned. I never thought for a second that they'd see my post on Facebook!!! I got this sweet text from them shortly after posting it.

"Monica and I just found out... We both have been crying because you mean the world to us. You know our thoughts and prayers are with you. The Lord will watch over you through this time and you are surrounded by so many people who support you. Are you willing to see us next weekend? We love you Tricia and will help with anything you need. We'd love to see you when we get back."

I immediately Facetimed them and assured them that I'm going to be fine and today I'm great!! I wanted them to focus on their precious honeymoon time. I even asked them WHO was the poop-head that would tell them?! Then Graham said...."Facebook". Like I said, "I'm an idiot!" Sorry friends. I hope you didn't allow sad thoughts in after we talked!

Jonathan and I have had a really pleasant day. We went to the flower market in beautiful Detroit, and spent the day with him and Marisa, his friend. Later, Jon and I hiked out in his back yard and explored!

When I came back in I continued reading my Breast Health binder. Unfortunately, I did read a few things I didn't like such as my pathology report stating that my cancerous cells have a nuclear grade of 2. The literature in my handy dandy binder says grade 2 cancer cells grow faster than normal cells. In my mind, that's different than the slow-growing comment Dr Palmer told me. Also it states this: "Size of the cancer does not tell the whole story. A small cancer may be fast-growing." So much for feeling assurance in its small size of 1 cm! I also learned that breast cancers with positive estrogen and progesterone receptors, which I do have, tend to respond well to hormone therapy. Yeah. Lastly, that HER2 thing I touched on. First, it's a gene that helps control how cells grow, divide, and repair. Cancers with too many tend to grow fast. They are also associated with the risk of spreading. Mine came in as inconclusive, so I thought,  so it was sent for a FISH test. I totally misunderstood that. I thought that the first test, the IHC, or ImmunoHistoChemistry, just couldn't get a good reading and THAT'S why they sent it out for the other test. But, nope, it's because it was borderline. That means I'm closer to it being positive. My IHC was a 2+ and the literature says that is actually borderline. Pray. Pray. Pray. I don't want chemo, Lord. If I have a positive FISH result or lymph node involvement, then no Quetico for me this year. Lord, please take this cup from me! Pit in my stomach at the thought of that.

I need to remember what Kathleen Pippen told me yesterday, "Don't think ahead of the facts."

So why was this titled Eat, Love, Pray? I ate my words, I loved time with Jonathan, and I'm praying I don't need chemo.