Tonight, I blogged and shared the silly, mundane, insignificant details of my day once again. Afterwards, I took a long shower and had a heart to heart with God. Then I deleted the whole thing and wrote this:
As I was talking to the Lord, I was wondering why in my spirit I feel so distant from Him. Why do I feel so disengaged and disinterested in the condition of my true self, my spirit. I realized that I'm pretty sick and tired of thinking about and talking about the condition of my flesh. I have spent more time being concerned about what happens to my body because of this cancer and its treatment and how I physically feel than the condition and growth of the true me, my spirit. I say my flesh is just a temporary vessel and I believe that, so why am I spending so much time reporting on all the little nuances as if it's worth that much time or if it is truly edifying and what God can teach me in all this.
God gently reminded me that our actions and thoughts is what we think is truly important. I immediately could see that in the past 93 days since I started blogging, little has been done to talk about he condition of my spirit and WAY too much has been spent on foolish and insignificant things like this flesh which is here today and gone tomorrow. So I have decided to stop looking at Facebook and really only report on my blog things that truly matter in this world, like how the Lord is teaching me, Scritpture that encourages me, and anything that God can use to grow me spiritually.
So for those of you who want a run down on my physical condition, feel free to text or call me but I don't think that's what God wants me to do day after day. After 90+ days of reporting, it's pretty obvious that the side effects of cancer are physically unpleasant. Period. But how God can stretch me and grow me spiritually, now THAT is way more valuable in the things that I thought mattered in this blog. .
Let's see what great things He has in store. And if I'm not blogging, it's cuz I don't have anything to report or I've been lazy and didn't so spend time in God's Word or listening to Him. I truly want Him to be the reason for my blog from here on out. Not to say I won't say anything about my physical condition, but it will be different from here on out.
1 comment:
An inspirational example of someone who is fully and faithfully leaning into Him with the knowledge that her Shepard will take care of His sheep. Glory!
Post a Comment