All is good here still! Had chemo on Monday and 2 days later I still feel great! I know there are steroids in the cocktail I get with my chemo, and while I have that energy, I will use it!
Yesterday I made cassava pitas (not my favorite), mowed the grass, cleaned my deck, Windexed my glass tables outside in the gazebo, did a load of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, talked to a couple dear friends and had company for dinner! Now I know most people do those things without thinking about it, but when it was all I could do to walk up and down the stairs for the first 4 doses of chemo and only have energy to get a little sustenance in me, these days are worth celebrating! Joy in the little things.
Unfortunately, I keep waking up at 4 a.m. and amble downstairs and plop into the Wilderness Room couch and read or scour Facebook until I fall asleep. But since I am not working, it does not really matter because I can just nap whenever I want to! It just means less cuddle time with my amazing hubby.
So while I am not complaining, I will say that I do feel a bit of the chemo today, but it's more like a tingling or itching in my face and sinuses.
I am aware that my white blood cell count will be taking a hit now that I'm not on Neulasta, so I want to continue being careful. Unfortunately, I sliced off 1/3 of my fingernail the other evening while chopping basil for dinner. Thankfully, it has not hurt (miracle) but I do know that my body is in repair mode because of that and I really don't have extra white blood cells for that kind of stuff. I will ask my oncologist about getting some Neulasta at my next dose. (I feel like I said that in the last blog...oh well). But if I don't get more Neulasta, I will likely have less and less of a wbc count each week.
Spiritually, I'm in a great space still. I continue to read or listen to books on hoopla, which is a free library website. I continue to be in prayer constantly for so many folks and I continue to be reminded of my gift of a more realistic viewpoint on my situation. This Life is short. Make the most of it. Live for Christ...it's all there really is living for anyway in light of our real life...eternity. Don't waste time in useless activities. Live on purpose. Understand your purpose. Don't be too attached to your circumstances as if you are in control, but allow God to be your reason, your purpose, your all in all.
When I have the opportunity to share some of the most valuable lessons I am learning through all this it usually focuses on these points: Trust God's promises. They are true. He is closer than we may realize and He has a plan for each and every person. His love for us is crazy awesome! Don't view difficulties and 'tragedies' as something not usable or worth our time. It's in the valleys that we can choose to grow and inspire and can find our real selves. For me, it's in my valley that I realized that God can use anything, even cancer, to allow me to feel more free to share His goodness, His love, His desire to be in our lives, His plan for us, and how faith in Him is something worth living for. This Life is so short. Sometimes I can't wait to be home. Until then, I won't back off what I've learned. He is real, true, and closer than I ever realized. I just needed to slow down and look.
Also, I have learned not to be so caught up in my flesh. I don't mean the Christian-eze 'flesh', but the skin, the looks, the attachment to my body. In fact, I realized something recently...I don't have cancer...this body that I am residing in does. I am not my flesh. Think of it. When someone dies, we look at their body and say, "They are gone. That's not them anymore. It really never was. Our bodies are simply a vessel our spirit resided in while here. We will have another body that will be perfect and that will be our permanent place where our spirit will reside, but this diseased, bald, wrinkling, aging body really is not who I am. So I have let go of my fear of losing it. God has bigger and better plans for me in His own time, and until then, I will take care of this vessel, I will love this vessel, and I will hopefully grow old in this vessel, but I need not be too attached to this vessel. I trust my future to my Father much more now than ever. That's a huge exhale!
2 comments:
The past 4 years of my life has been years of torment right from when i was diagnosed with breast cancer (triple negative) stage IV. It was hard for me because i never in my life imagined i would have anything related to cancer. The first two years my oncologist gave me so much hope that i had to undergo chemo and radiation therapy twice and the lymph nodes were still there. It kept reoccurring and i was about to lose it all. I lost weight and i had high blood pressure due to steady thinking. I got the contact of Dr. Roland whom i was told treats cancer naturally with herbal medicine, i never believed but i was dying and to satisfy my curiosity i had to invite him over and he came with his medicine and began to treat me for a month. In three months time i didn't feel any symptoms and i decided to confirm and i went to my oncologist for a test and i tested negative to cancer. I never believed in herbal methods or treatments but now i do because it saved me. You too can contact him for more info on any form of cancer and also about his medicine and treatment process on (dr.rolandoscar@gmail.com) do not die in ignorance and never give up hope.
ALL THANKS TO DR WILLIAMS WITH HIS HERBAL PORTION I WAS COMPLETELY CURED FROM BREAST CANCER.
I'm here again to appreciate. DR WILLIAMS God will always continue to bless you more abundantly, for the good works you done in my life, I will always keep on writing good and posting my testimonies about you on the Internet, I’m Jessica from Orlando, Florida. I was tested breast cancer positive, I saw a blog on how DR WILLIAMS cured people with his herbal portion, i did not believe in natural medicine but i just decided to give him a try, I contacted him,and explain my situation to him,few day later he sent me the herb, after taking doc Williams herbal medicine for few week i also got my healing with his herbal portion, i am so happy. If you have any type of cancer problem ,you can contact him on Drwilliams098675@gmail.com for advice and for his product,i hope this testimony also help some one out there .
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