Day 68 Skip Reading Today If You Don't Want Gritty Details Of How Chemo Wreaks Havoc On One's Body

Today I am blogging about my yesterday. It truly is like being on a emotional, spiritual, and physical roller coaster around here!

I woke up feeling great, again. Made a healthy breakfast and then around 10 am I started feeling 'off' again...like a head rush and a little dizzy. Off and on all day I experienced that stupid chemo brain feeling but not terribly...just enough to let me know the drugs are still there, messing with my brain chemistry. I would have sudden clamminess and feel warm, then feel chilled and need a wool blanket to get comfortable.

As for the tummy and nausea feeling, I don't have it bad enough that I feel like I need anti-nausea meds, but my stomach flips and churns throughout the day and feels like I ate bad pizza, really bad pizza! Then (here is the gross, but real part) I have been in the 'bathroom' at least 6 times today! Supposedly these chemo drugs really mess with one's GI tract, and suffice it to say, it's true! Between a sore bottom, the scare of seeing blood every time I wipe, and my stomach gurgling off and on all day, I'm kind of over this crap (pun intended!)

Then the emotional yuck. I think I've broken down crying 2 or 3 times today as I think of how unpleasant all this is AND I'm only on treatment #2 of 16! How in the world will I be able to tolerate 14 more doses?!

John drove me to pick up my wig, thankfully, because after 5 minutes of driving, I began to feel car sick from the motion of seeing out my window. I literally had to close my eyes the entire drive or I felt dizzy.

The wig looks great. It's long dark brown hair, just like my own and feels comfortable, just a bit warm. So now I have options: wig, bald, or turban. I'm good with any or all.

My appetite is not great still. Food has no real appeal, but there are certainly foods that sound terrible and foods that are tolerable. But to say I have cravings, does not exist. I eat because I should, and that's about it.

My daughter, Sarah, decided she wanted to help me as much as she could and created her own www.gofundme.com/sarahpylesmom account. This way her friends and contacts could help support me, too. I think she did a really nice job!

I was pleasantly surprised last night when my co-worker and friend, Courtney stopped by with her boys and visited and brought me beautiful flowers, a card, and a coloring book with pencils. Thankfully, I felt good at the time and we enjoyed a nice hour or so while watching her boys play with the hose and get wet.

To top off my night, Monica and Graham came home with John after helping coach Special Olympics at the Lebanon YMCA and we all enjoyed a grilled meal, courtesy of Graham and John's grilling mastery!

Just before heading to bed, I began to wonder if I was ever going to lose my hair! I knew a bunch of my long hair fell out last Monday, July 4th, but after it was shaved  down to stubble, I really haven't felt like I was losing any more....until last night. I was standing in front of my mirror and ran my hand over my head stubble and in 3 rubs, my sink was covered in little black and gray hairs! I, once again, knew this was the end of an era of my GI Jane BA look, and onto a balding, but beautiful  Tricia look. In fact this morning, I showered and washed my head 6 times as I saw it falling out. When I emerged from the shower, I was admittedly shocked at how bald I became in those 6 washings. I expect to be a complete shining bowling ball in 2-3 days. At least I'm told I have a cute head shape! Whew, it's always good to know those little things in life! :)

Today, I do have a prayer request. I have a dear friend, Deb Slanaker, who was diagnosed with leukemia a couple years ago. She is in remission! Then a couple months ago, I had the privilege of cleaning her teeth for her and when I did her oral cancer exam, I noticed a growth on the back of her throat that was definitely not supposed to be there! She is in having it biopsied right now, today, as I type. Please pray for her as she is like family to us around here on many levels.

God, you are good. Today, I lean into You for my strength and hope.