I received an anonymous comment from day 78's blog and after answering it in the comment section, I was told it was too long to insert as a reply to that comment, so I am making that comment part of my blog for today.
Before I copy and paste my reply, I wanted to let those of you who follow my blog to know that I'm still laying low at our friend's house. I do feel well enough today to eat mostly normally, and I haven't had to nap most of the day away like the previous few day from feeling sheer exhaustion. I am very thankful for that. I also called my oncologist and let him know about my incident at the ER on Saturday and see what they wanted me to do. Seems they are not concerned I need to do anything drastic so long as I am not bleeding a lot! As for John, he is actually working out here in Jackson and meeting with many builders and architects all week to see if he can get connected here to increase his business.
Yesterday, Burr took John fishing in their boat. Our friend's house backs up to the Snake River, so they slipped out the backyard into paradise! Although the fishing was unsuccessful, John expressed how thankful he was that Burr offered to take him out. It is such a gift to see John have a time to relax and play a little. Taking care of me and working to provide financially without my help has caused a lot of stress on him and it brings me great joy to see him have some fun with friends.
Now, for the comment somebody made to my post yesterday, I had to really think long and hard how I, and if I wanted to reply. My first response was that that person was quite ballsy to throw a question like that out anonymously on my blog. But I don't know who this person is. They may not know me at all and I'm not sure why they think they needed to ask, as if they are the blog police, but I realized it would be a great opportunity to be totally honest about my vacation and even more, to show just how amazing God is acting in my life. So for that person, here is my reply.
Dear Anonymous,
This personal blog of mine is intended for my friends and family to understand the details of my day to day life as I walk through this journey of breast cancer. I really don't understand why anyone would pose such an indicting question unless you don't know me and feel like you have something to prove to the world, or you yourself would do such a dishonest thing and felt convicted personally in your own sinful dishonesty that you would even think that of me.
Admittedly, your sarcasm and anonymity are a bit unappreciated. Your lack of knowledge of the details of my personal situation is also evident. I assume you don't know me well, either, otherwise you would not have asked, but since you put it out there, I would love to answer your question because it will shed light on God's goodness, despite your questioning my integrity. If you feel it is necessary to have more details than what I provide for your personal inquisitive satisfaction, I will joyfully provide that and you may personally email me to gain whatever more information you would like. I operate as a straight shooter and with honesty and integrity, and hopefully, next time, you might be more trusting and ask less insensitive questions. But for you, I will gladly oblige.
As I stated in several other blog posts, this vacation to visit and stay with friends who live in Jackson, was planned a long, long time ago, and I purchased and paid for the tickets in April, 2016. These tickets were already totally paid for with my budgeted vacation money I set aside when I was working full time and did not have any knowledge of having cancer. So when I got a diagnosis in May, I actually inquired with the airline about getting a refund or credit for these tickets to see what my options were as there was no guarantee that I could travel. Because I did not get trip insurance, something I'll never do again, I would have lost the money I paid for these if I did not use them. Even getting credit, in part, for them would not have been something I would have been able to utilize due to the fact that this next year I will be enduring chemo, surgeries and radiation. The restrictions on credit for unused tickets limited me to using them by April, 2017, one year from time of purchase. This was something I did not see happening. So, it was my hope that during my first 8 weeks of chemotherapy, when I potentially have a 7 day window of feeling good between chemo treatments, I would feel well enough to still travel on a vacation I had planned long before my cancer diagnosis!
Now you might be saying that Jackson is a very expensive place to travel to for vacation, even if the tickets were paid for beforehand, and if I was someone else, you might have been right. But we are blessed to have friends who live there, picked us up at the airport, let us use their car, and we stay for free at their house, not to mention eat healthy home cooked meals at their house, which they have graciously provided as a gift to us! So I would never think of using 'other people's gifted money' for a rental car, dining out, hotels, or entertainment! Isn't that great! Therefore,since all this was given to us, I decided that since I will be suffering with all the pain, discomfort, and side effects of cancer treatment for the next year (obviously something you have no sympathy to understand), and I had the tickets already, and everything we will be doing will be at no cost to us, AND we will have the refreshing opportunity to heal for the one week in that 10 day period I will feel well in the next many months, I decided to accept the gift from my Heavenly Father and enjoy His beautiful creation in the Tetons, be loved on by my Christ-loving friends who offer us a respite for 10 days, and not even waste my own money I used to pay for our tickets many months ago. See how God works?! He does indeed take care of me, as you mentioned in your anonymous comment. Hopefully, you now see how I responsibly used my own money and accepted the gift of loving friends who understand the healing power of trying to live life as normally as possible when my days are often filled with feeling pretty awful.
As for the gracious money my friends and family have given to me to help pay for my "bare necessities", it was something I asked people to only do it if God put it on their heart to do as I will, indeed, have no income as a dental hygienist for a year. I would never want one penny of anyone's money if they questioned my integrity on how I used it. God will bless those who have given, as He has blessed me! For this I am so thankful! So you see, I will accept the loving gifts of those who choose to give to me because Jesus put it on their heart to take care of all my needs, whether it be prayer, money, a turban to cover my bald head, a home cooked meal to ease my burden at home, or a free healing vacation in Jackson, WY. All these are gift from a Heavenly Father who lavishes His love on me abundantly and I am not ashamed to accept His gifts. Thank you for helping me glorify His Goodness and giving me a platform to show how He takes care of His children!
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