Same, same but different, different

It was infusion week once again at The James’ Stephanie Spielman Comprehensive Breast Cancer Center in Columbus, Ohio and thankfully, another easy treatment. I’m so so so grateful yet again for zero pain and side effects while getting treatment. I did explain to the doctor that in the past week or two I had been noticing something new…frequent twitching in my upper eyelids for no apparent reason. Nobody really seems to know why it is happening. The little irritations physically are minimal compared to the treatments I had in 2016, so no complaints here, just reporting.  By Monday, most of the twitching stopped.

Then after my infusion on Friday, John took me out to my favorite little organic bistro nearby called Alchemy Kitchen.  Sadly my little artsy blue-haired friend and sister in Christ, Madeleine, wasn’t working this day.

On to the best part of the weekend when one of my sisters, my favorite youngest sister, Lys, and her very fun-loving beau, Kevin, visited for a couple nights, so we enjoyed the crackle of a fire, ate delicious food, went hiking, and I got to share my bench and some waterfalls with them! Below is a photo of a very ancient oak tree that I can’t help but hug every time I pass it while hiking over in Hoffmann Reserve. I talk to this beauty and ask what all it’s seen in the 300-400 years it’s been there? I know it may sound silly to hug a tree but there is something awe-inspiring about a living thing that’s remained alive for centuries that’s touchable!

When the power goes out at 4 a.m. but your hubby gets up and has a fire roaring in the fireplace for hours to keep it warm!! 

Kevin, Melissa, John and I enjoyed a very long hike on Saturday but there’s something sacred about sharing my bench with people I love where I pause almost every time and sing Gratitude! Thanks again to Carl, my Angel bench Maker! 

Holding hands with my faithful, loving, adventurous hubby is always a good day!

Because of the copious amount of rainfall we have received lately, the typical tiny drops of water dripping over flat rocks in the meager creek became glorious gushing waterfalls that caused us to listen and smile. 

Sunday usually means going church, but since John had to be there for both services, I decided to spend quiet time at home drinking a fresh mint infused Boston Stoker Grogg cappuccino while listening to the wind chime and birds singing, enjoy seeing the sunshine, blue skies, & new spring green leaves popping out and read, pray, and rest. 

I’ve decided to share here my prayer. It’s nothing fancy or profound…it’s just me sharing my heart with God on this miraculous Sunday morning. 

Morning prayer

Father, 

Thank you that I woke up today. And thank you that I have yet another day to share love and experience love from those around me. Thank you that I’m pain-free. Thank you that I woke up with a faithful husband next to me. Thank you that I woke up surrounded by a warm safe home. Thank you that I woke up to food in my refrigerator and an assortment of clothes to choose from to wear. Thank you that I woke up with a Bible sitting on my table and the freedom to read it. Thank you that I woke up with loving family and texts from friends. Thank you that I woke up burden and stress-free today. Father, I don’t take these things for granted and I acknowledge that you are the Giver of good gifts. Thank you for what I read today in my devotional from Jesus calling where it said for Jan. 26, “Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties. This is a false hope! As I told My disciples, “In the world, you will have trouble.” Link your hope, not to problem solving in this life, but to the promise of an eternity of free life in heaven. Instead of seeking perfection in this fallen world, pour your energy into seeking Me: the Perfect One. 

It is possible to enjoy Me and glorify Me in the midst of adverse circumstances. In fact, My light shines most brightly through believers who trust Me in the dark. That kind of trust is supernatural: a production of My indwelling Spirit. When things seem all wrong, trust Me anyway. I am much less interested in right circumstances than in right responses to whatever comes your way. John 16:33, Psalm 112:4, 7.”

Father, You are the only reason I am alive. You give me life. You are my life. You remind me of my purpose here and its brevity and the long awaited for hope I have in Your Son, Jesus. 

I ask for each of my children, family members and friends to encounter You, not just momentarily, but perpetually and passionately! Not just because it’s what they occasionally think they should do, or maybe they don’t acknowledge You at all but what I ask, Father, is that each one desires YOU inwardly privately personally boldly humbly & genuinely in Truth. May each person seek You, find You, trust in Jesus to be the only Way to You through His amazing sacrifice on the cross for each of us. May they feel loved, wanted, known, needed, seen, and pursued by You, the One and only God, our Creator, our Maker, our Forever Husband, our Life, our Hope, our Peace. 

May the day to day circumstances we each experience be overshadowed by Your Presence. I pray that Truth always is in front and the lies of this world are discarded. Send Angel Armies out to surround, fight for, defeat and stand victorious over the enemy in the lives of my loved ones. 

I pray this in the name of Your Son, Jesus!

Hallelujah

On Monday I was able to get out for yet another 3 mile hike. Thankfully, God put it on my heart to go somewhere new so I “randomly” decided to check out Caesar’s Creek Boat Ramp area to see if there might be a hiking trail nearby. Although there was and the hike eventually was lovely, before hitting the trail, we came upon an elderly man lying in the parking lot face down. When we got there nobody was anywhere except this gentleman! He lifted his head and blood was everywhere. I was able to reach 911 and get him the help he needed.  Tragically, this 77 year old thinks he just got dizzy as he stopped to use the bathroom facilities and when he got back to the parking lot, he fell…but he must have passed out at first and face planted in the asphalt because he was a bloody mess and had lots of gashes on his face and hands! Thankfully he was conscious enough to talk to me. I was so thankful another random man named Robert drove by who stopped to help me get him off the pavement until the squad came. As you can see from the picture, he would really have been in trouble if he would have been driving at the time or if nobody saw him.

After he was in the ambulance, we were thankful to hike.  The trail we choose was serene and followed along the Lake. I’m thankful LillyMae loves to hike as much as I do!! 

The rest of my time is becoming routine…sell our things on eBay and Facebook Marketplace and work on WonderVan stuff!!

I’m feeling exceptionally well and I thank God for it!!

Saileigh's Week

This week in Florida was wonderfully Saileigh-centric. 

As my daughter and son-in-law worked, the nannies and I took turns taking in those unforgettable melting smiles, occasional giggles, baby soft cuddles and even a few unnerving screams as my granddaughter is figuring out new people and new routines. Most mornings started with a sunny walk in the Florida neighborhood. It was a bit chilly some mornings, but crisp and fresh air was welcomed!

This was unlike back home in Ohio where it’s 32 and has snow flurries! Not that I mind snow or cold, but I’ll take the sunny warmth of 55-80, Thank you! 

This week I’ve had a few more kind and generous invitations to attend a girl’s luncheon and on Saturday night, I attended an anniversary party thrown by the best and most creative party thrower I know, Lorna!! “Wear white and show up!” was all I was told, but wowser can she make a blast out of a few hours with lots of creativity, laughter and love, spent with both old and new friends! I met so many people who were celebrating life and friendship with glowing white black-lit dresses, dancing, twirling and having great conversation! 

Bill and Lorna definitely are the quintessential definition of how to have a lot of fun with friends and family! I was blessed to be invited and bask in their festivities!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch in SW Ohio, my amazing husband continues to prepare our WonderVan for our upcoming journey into early retirement as he recently ordered 6 solar panels and meticulously plans the complicated and mundane things like electrical wattage conversion and wiring blueprints on his CAD. I’m so grateful I have such a gifted partner! I love that he trusts me enough, understands me enough and supports me enough to be who I am and I get to go visit family and friends constantly all around the country whenever I want!!…I can be me with no questions or criticism.  Thank you, John Wonderly.  He’s a gift from God that I continue to unwrap and discover and see God’s love coming through. 

As I’m here in Florida, I continue to hear more and more tragic and sad stories of people whose marriages are unraveling, frayed and fractured. I have deep sympathy and empathy for each story, each person. If my readers are one of “those”, please remember that you won’t be in this place of grief forever and I encourage you to look to the One…The only One who held me close and healed me when it was my turn in that most grueling cesspool of this life. I have said it before and I’ll say it boldly again, there is none like Him. Jesus is the only Way, the only Truth and the only Life. He’s not just MY Way, MY Truth and MY Life. He came so all could know the gift of real Life and true peace with a hope for the future. None gave that to me like Him! 

Each of us has our own journey we must trek and navigate and none of us has exactly the same road. Some of us have disease, some divorce, some betrayal, some death of a loved one, some abuse. For some it’s obvious and for others it’s not. … but ALL of us will experience loss of one kind or another in this life.  And unless we have walked in that persons shoes, we don’t know their struggles so I must bring love and gentleness, grace and forgiveness to each one whose path I cross.  That’s what Jesus did for me so why wouldn’t I not bring to others what I’ve been given?! 

People ask me about my cancer all the time and are amazed at how well I’m doing, how great I look, how positive I am…well, it’s truly not because of me. It’s because God has chosen to give me yet another day around the sun to share the treasure of forgiveness through Jesus. I don’t know why and I don’t know for how long, but as of today… “This is my gift to you”, He says. I love that this week I received a few texts reminding my of the date 3/16 and was reminded of the Bible verse John 3:16. 

Tuesday I got in my last snuggles with Saileigh, hugged my daughter and son-in-law goodbye then jumped on a plane back to cloudy, chilly, rainy Ohio! Many thanks to these beautiful humans who filled up my Granita tank! 

Ohio to Florida

 Tuesday: I had more energy this day than yesterday, however, I failed to take Imodium after several ‘opportunities’ and signs to do so. Because of that, I think my electrolytes were off because when I went to bed, I woke up several times with mini Charlie Horse cramps in my legs! 🐴 🦵 Yikes!

I spent most of this day picking up flat rectangular stones from our creek in order to build little stone pillars around the legs of our new firewood shed! It was my idea to make it more beautiful and I’m happy with it! 

The most remarkable part of my day was being able to encourage and pray with a dear sister in Christ as she is dealing with and processing through her marital struggles. Betrayal and infidelity is a brutal tool of the enemy. Yet I know how powerful my God is to help us overcome, strengthen us by Truth, and give wisdom on how to move positions and heal. If ever I felt used by God to be there for someone, it was this moment! Jesus Christ was, is and will be victorious in our lives if we allow Him to be!

Wednesday and Thursday I mostly worked at the shop de-barking pieces of wood for our WonderVan flooring and table. When it’s done, it will look something like this coffee table that currently is in our Wilderness Room! I truly believe I’ll be living in the Taj Mahal of Van lifers!

I had the sheer joy of having dinner with some fine folks from my former employer’s office who lovingly continue to treat me with such kindness and understanding. And for those who couldn’t make it to Northstar Café, I at least got to stop by the office and visit! I really loved working with these two dentists!! If I could work again, I would pick them both to work with in a minute!! And the groupies that joined me at Northstar Café were so wonderful to see…it’s like we’re family! 

The rest of the week was working on helping John dig a trench for our electrical in the woods for the WonderVan. Admittedly, I really overworked my back and had to take a day off of physical labor. 

But I’m thankful I got to hike a bit in some beautiful woods where I could sit in nature and worship while walking. Then I got to meet up with my dear friend Doni and we got in a good hour hike too! 

Finally on Sunday I made it back to sunny Florida to spend time with my daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter. Oh what joy beyond belief to hold this bundle. She giggles a little more, makes great big smiles when she wakes up and recognizes me and cuddles so sweetly. Literally being with her is so healing to me. I’m one blessed Granita! 

Monday and Tuesday I helped get the new nannies settle in as they started watching my granddaughter. And nothing is as sweet as holding a sleepy baby so I’m in heaven here especially when she’s handed to me at 5:30 am by a tired mama who needs to sleep! 

Wednesday night was a fun and special evening as I had dinner with a new friend, Lisa. She and I meet on a plane flying to Florida last month and reconnected now that I’m back. We chatted for hours at Coconut Jacks Restaurant about the goodness of God in our lives! It’s so fun when I clearly see how God just plops people randomly in our lives! 

Woke up Thursday and read a beautiful verse that I set to a photo I took while on a morning walk here in Florida. Then opened my Bible app and read this prayer in faith. 

“God,

You are the light of the world.

Because of You, I no longer walk in darkness but in Your light. May my life reflect Your truth, pointing others to You and bringing glory to Your name.

Give me the strength and courage to share the hope that I have in You.

This world is broken, but You make what’s broken whole again.

This year, draw near to the lost, the lonely, and the hurting. And, please draw near to me.

May Your love bring us together, mending division and unifying Your global Church.

No matter what this year holds, You are faithful and Your promises are true.

Thank You for the eternal hope that I have in You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.”

Marching to the Beat of My Drum

Wednesday, the day after my infusion, consisted of lots of immense gratitude and a continued awareness that I don’t and cannot take this life for granted! I never realized just how much I took for granted before my diagnosis even though I didn’t think I was lacking in gratitude. But when I have treatment one day with anti-cancer drugs pumped into my veins, then the next day I’m out joyfully spending 3 hours staining a firewood shed & then hiking for another 2 hours, well it just makes me really thankful. 

Thursday: spent the majority of my day, putting a second coat of stain on the firewood shed that John built! John and I enjoyed a nice steak dinner then relaxed in our Wilderness Room with a beautiful fire. It’s crazy when you’re married to a stair builder and your firewood is left over pieces of stunning handrail!!

Since John’s van is having the lettering and artwork removed in order to sell the van soon, we are down to one vehicle to drive around in. This is when you really know retirement is coming for him when he has the van logo professionally removed!! Here John is with his van for the last time as a work van!

Friday: We went to the shop together all day and I spent the day working on the small pieces of wood for one of the tables we’ll have in the WonderVan. The amount of prep is copious. After selecting out the pieces I liked best, I then used a chisel and mallet to remove all the bark, then used a stiff brush on a drill to smooth the edges. This took me hours and I loved doing it!

I’ve had a couple people read my blog from last week and say they were kinda worried about me from what they read. My encouragement to any readers is to remember that this is my unedited raw journal… My personal blog that I write about real feelings, ever fluctuating and changing thoughts and emotions, experiencing of highs and lows, and remembering that through it all… regardless of my temporal circumstances that I share here, that it is because of who Christ is in my life that I am always and truly fine. So please don’t fret or worry. This is just an unadulterated glimpse into my thoughts and my days that are ever-changing and always ending in looking up! Yes my back is sore. Yes my hands and feet are stiff especially when I wake up in the morning. Yes I have some skin issues. AND these are just to report briefly of the physical nuances, but that’s not who I am and it’s not my focus, but it is my reality at times. 

And today I can choose joy once again as I begin my Saturday with a raspberry croissant and cup of tea while listening to my wind chimes!

The rest of Saturday consisted of John and I placing our firewood shed outside on our new driveway in the woods for when we are back in Ohio on occasion after we set off into the sunset of our days. 

The rest of this glorious Saturday I continued with the menial task of cleaning up gravel from a grassy area that got this way from all the brush burning and dragging trees down our gravel drive to the burn pile in our yard. Someone has to do it, so while John continued in the shop working on our van build, I picked up rocks! Nothing amazing, and nothing inspiring…yet it was good for me! Why? Because I’m alive to do it. The birds were singing and it was a peaceful day in my life. The sun was shining! And Ever, my friend’s son, came and helped for a bit!

I also started listening to Jordan Peterson’s exposé on the book of Genesis. Fascinating…

Sunday: a beautiful day here in Ohio with blue skies and cool weather. John and I went to church then helped with a food packing ministry followed up with an afternoon hike with LillyMae on a new trail that followed along Holes creek in Centerville! 

I love our hikes where we can talk about God, life and nature. LillyMae is the most mature 13 year old I’ve ever known. I’m blessed to call her a friend! We definitely have a similar sense of adventure so hiking with her fills my cup! So grateful for her. 

And here I am at Tuesday again. I started my day reading and praying. I’m reading Amir Tsarfati’s book, Revealing Revelation. Then I spent today working on the same projects at the shop with gravel clean up and helping decide on wood for the map table. 

My body was physically pretty tired today as I battled the dreaded gastric distress that hits me often from these meds. Thankfully, I just carry on as usual. 

This week I want to honor one of my dearest friends who celebrated another year around the globe. She’s a friend that has stood the test of time, tragedy, distance, and disease. She is faithful and fun. She is honest and trustworthy. She is sacrificial, silly and serious. She is my B! And I’m so grateful for her life and friendship!