New Biopsy Results-Game Changer!

Was up at 5 am & prayed that today would be a different kind of day at The James than last Tuesday when I was an emotional train wreck. 

On the way to Columbus at 8 am this morning we got a call from from nurse practitioner at The James saying that the biopsy results were indeed different than the first biopsy report. Supposedly it’s not triple negative after all in the lymph node, but ER-PR-HER2+! Not exactly sure what that means yet. They delayed my infusion for a couple hours so we went to a nearby park and sat on the bench and enjoyed a beautiful fountain at Goodall Park while waiting for Dr Sudheendra to see us!! 

Just met with the oncologist at noon and her delightful young resident MD, Jasmine. So thankful they did the second biopsy! Not that the bone biopsy was incorrect because Dr Sudheendra double checked it and it actually WAS triple negative, but the lymph node result was actually different than the bone. It was ER- PR- HER2+ which means my treatment will be TOTALLY different than originally planned at the other oncologist. At the end of my visit with her I hugged her and thanked her for going the extra mile and requesting that second biopsy. 

So the new medications I’ll be having every 3 weeks is referred to as PTD. Perjeta and Herceptin are the HER2 antibodies that will target the cancer cells. I’ll have those as long as my body responds to them EVERY 3 weeks. Then I’ll also have a chemotherapeutic drug called Taxotere for about the next several months and then they’ll stop that one. All of these I’ll have done once every 3 weeks along with a bone strengthening drug every 6 weeks. They’ll give steroids every time and anti-nausea meds as needed. The most visible side effect is hair loss from the Taxotere but since it’s only a short term drug, my hair should start growing back by the end of the year. Evidently one of the most common side effects of Taxotere that effects my daily life is diarrhea so lots of Imodium on hand. 

See began the infusion, they started me out on 50 mg Benadryl and I felt literally woozy and drugged immediately for a couple hours. Thankfully it’s wearing off! Because it’s my first time having them, they gave each drug separately to watch for reactions. It took another 4 hours in chemo salon from start to finish!! Thankfully we had a private room. 

The main nurse that helped out today was a lovely woman named Keri whom I got to share my heart with her and she was very encouraging and positive with a patient and kind soul. I would easily say she is one of my Million little miracles! 

Headed home now. Mind is too tired and full to talk. Going home to a friend I met almost 30 years ago. Kathy P flew in from Prescott, AZ for a couple days to love on me like old friends do. 

Memorial Day Paddle

Slept in on this Memorial Day 2022. Then John took me out in the canoe at Caesar’s Creek Lake for a slow and beautiful paddle. He did most of the actual paddling but I certainly helped as I could. I was winded easily so I only did what was necessary in the head wind. What a pure gift to be able to be back out in nature and breathe in the fresh air, hear the birds sing and see all the great blue herons! 

When we got home I was WIPED out so I flopped on my couch and napped. That’s about all I did today and I’m thankful. Had a few calls with family, friends and a new friend, Beth. 

I’m amazed at all He’s done for me. Who am I that He’d bless me so? I stand in awe of all His wondrous deeds. He’s dealt with me so graciously. 

Tomorrow is a big day back up at the James. Getting a new chemo drug started with them. I’m already noticing a significant loss of hair every time I shower from the chemo I started previously with Dr Cody, so I’m prepared to lose all my hair should it happen. Supposedly the new chemo doesn’t have hair loss as a side effect. It will hopefully grow back i ifI do lose it. Hair today, gone tomorrow!

Hubby Home!!!!

After 7 days of quarantining, John finally came home yesterday and a big shout out to so many friends who made it possible. My army of warriors who came to be with me just blew me away with their continuous gift of time. Saturday night Lynn stayed the night and she cooked, cleaned, sang and prayed with and over me and I’m speechless at all you beautiful humans whom I love so dearly to have been there for me!!

As soon as John came home I spent as much time with him as possible and we relaxed, napped, cuddled, ran a couple errands, went for a gator ride in our woods and watched a movie. It was a sweet time and I’m glad he’s home. 

While I felt good yesterday, I admit I had a little melt down or a Garden moment as I call them. Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane when He said, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” ~Luke 22:42. While we watched the movie in bed, I changed positions and my sternum started aching, my breathing felt shallow and restricted and it reminded me that while I believe I am healed, my body is still catching up. The feeling of grief I felt was all of a sudden all-consuming and I “hooked into it’, as Lynn explained to me. I wept. I asked, “Why, Lord?”, I told John that I didn’t want this and that I HAD to get better!! My muffled sobs and streaming tears were comforted by a gentle back rub and kisses on my head by a loving and grieving husband. He prayed over me after wiping away my tears and I fell asleep in his arms. This is why I didn’t blog last night. 

But today is a new day and full of new mercies. I want the joy and faith of a child that I’m believing in my Heavenly Father for the good gifts He is always lavishing on me. Here is my little friend, Zoey reminding me of the possibility of joy even when I feel sad as she modeled a fascinator hat I gave her from the Derby. 

Her Dad, and our friend Jake Cass, continues to bless us by cutting the grass at John’s shop which gives John and me that precious gift of time!! Thank you again and again, Jake! Her mama and sister had just read Psalm 27 to me when I snapped this precious screenshot. I must say the Word was so very on point as Liz and LilyMae read it. It might just be one of my new favorites. “The Lord is my light and my salvation— so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people  (cancer) comes to devour me, when my enemies and foes  (disease and illness) attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army (of cancer cells) surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. The one thing I ask of the Lord — the thing I seek most— is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies (cancer) who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music. Hear me as I pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “ Lord, I am coming.” Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies (cancer cells) are waiting for me. Do not let me fall into their hands. For they accuse me of things I’ve never done; with every breath they threaten me with violence. Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

Psalm 27:1-14 NLT

This Is What Answered Prayer Looks Like!

At 3:50 am I woke to take meds and pray. After praying for all my people the Lord put the thought in my head to take off my oxygen cannula for the rest of the morning. Without hesitation and without checking my pulse ox, I removed it in faith and went back to sleep for a beautiful restful 3 hours. The best night’s sleep I’ve had in 6 weeks! 

Doni and I had a praise-filled breakfast of one of my favorite meals…avocado toast!!

Then these lawn fairies, aka, Scott and Denise, just showed up to cut and trim our lawn and pull my weeds!!! God uses so many people to display His great love for us and I’m humbled at the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God. 

I had unbelievable strength this afternoon and I wanted desperately to ride my mountain bike but I’m not quite ready for that yet, however, I did make Doni take me on a nature walk for 20 minutes with my O2 on just for good measure and I relished the physical gift of being able to breathe in fresh air and see God’s trees while I very slowly walked so as to not over exert myself. I’ll never take a simple walk in the woods for granted again. 

Then Doni wanted to celebrate my healing journey by getting me a lobster lunch from Dorothy Lane Market.

 And also to celebrate the decision to continue our plans, regardless of what the doctors say, to build out our new camper van that was delivered today!

 

I think at this point, when it’s home worthy, we will just sell everything and go enjoy every waking and sleeping moment together traveling and canoeing and mountain biking wherever my body will allow for as long as we can until the Lord calls us Home. I don’t want to waste one more moment not living like every day is a precious gift. No diagnosis is going to stop me from living! Be sure that I’ll still take my medicine and make wise choices in health, sleep, supplements, and exercise. Things just might look differently than I might have dreamed 2 months ago but this Warrior Fighter Mama isn’t done living her best years!

And how thankful beyond measure I am for the cards from our Special Olympics athletes and family, a delicious lunch left by dear old neighbors Bonnie and Steve, help with transportation from the most faithful friends Tim and Monique and endless prayers from all of YOU!! 

Tonight my son and friends Emily and Austin came in to visit and Emily made me yummy and healthy dinner. So great to see them again!

And to top of my night, my kindred friend, Lynn, came to be with me and the connection we have is difficult to explain other than to say it’s unquestionably from God. Sharing of lives, stories of how God moves, miracles discussed, praying over me and worshiping with me…. This and so much more!

 

And I’m Feeling…Good!

The Lord woke me up to pray over so many people in the middle of the night.  This prayer video was on my screen as I woke up to pray this morning. It’s everything my soul cries out to the Lord and I hope you can join me in listening and praying it over your life as well. Our Creator loves to hear these words from our lips and it's a soothing salve to my struggling & healing body. It strengthens me and gives me the hope I need every day!

My healing care team had a changing of the guards this morning as Karen R signed off and Jess F signed on. How can I ever say thank you to these beautiful friends and family who sacrifice hours and days of their own busy lives to sit with me, cook for me, shop with me, clean my house, do my laundry and keep me company? I love you and thank you all!!! Jess was like a cleaning maniac, then took me grocery shopping for all the organic, healthy foods I needed!! 

Another Miracle of the day is a gift from Nemo company!!! The customer service is over the top!!

Changing of the guards again this afternoon and my sweet friend Doni O came in for the midnight shift! We got to enjoy a meal together and sit in my Wilderness room with a warm fire and watched some of The Chosen episodes. I’m thankful my husband, girlfriends and daughter are all willing to apply my Asea gel or Frankincense oil to my back while praying healing over my body. 

Thanks to the Lord I’m feeling very good today and have unusually higher energy than the past couple days! No rib pain, my O2 AGAIN is in good range during the day if I’m calm so no supplemental O2! Praise the Lord because wearing that silly cannula makes me feel like I’m a sick old lady with COPD when I see myself in a mirror or photo, so I’m very glad to not have to wear it during the day anymore. This IS improvement and healing is happening! 

Tonight as I go to bed, I’m going to try a higher dose of melatonin and if I feel well in the morning, I’ll continue with it. The studies on it have shown amazing promise for patients with certain health maladies and I’m excited to have it available. For anyone wondering where I got my information, feel free to watch this video. 

Leaving the blog with a prayer and song of Gratitude again! 

Low Key Day

Not much to report on how I’m feeling other than a praise that again I could go off oxygen during the entire day. I keep it on at night since I can’t monitor it. I was more tired today in general. I guess playing out in the rain last night wore me out a bit. But ohhhhh so worth it!

My big activity of the day was Sarah Jean recording me reading my second Children’s book that I wrote.  

We did finish watching our favorite family movie, “My Big Fat Green Wedding”. Other than that I mostly was laying on the couch napping and resting. 

Took my beautiful daughter and grand daughter to be to the airport and said my goodbyes for a few more weeks before she comes back home. 

Then our friends Mike and Karen graciously offered to help us out today with the airport run and errands and now Karen is spending the night. I’m forever grateful for all the love and compassion these friends of ours have. Karen tried reading healing scriptures to me but I kept falling asleep as she read. Up to bed and zzzz’s coming easy tonight. 

Wednesday another gift of joy and answered prayer

Woke up today feeling much better spiritually, physically and mentally. Read Scripture and came to Proverbs 16:24. I like this one! It reminds me of the power of our words, not only to others but even to ourselves… so be sure to not speak harsh words, complaining words, doubting words, negative words to others or to yourself! This shift to gracious words, kind words, encouraging words and hopeful words is life to our bodies, and we all need to take greater care of these bodies of ours!!

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Huge praise again today that I didn’t need my oxygen all day long unless I was really active like playing in the rain tonight with Sarah. God is my Miracle maker! 

I did get to visit with John through our living room screen today as he picked up a few items from the house. Can’t wait for him to be done with the COVID restriction and come home, but we cannot afford the risk of me getting any respiratory infection and unfortunately lots of people are getting sick right now. I am asking anyone who comes to visit or stay to please take a COVID test for my sake. I know there are lots of philosophies about choices around that, and out of respect for my health it is something that will make me more comfortable. Unless one has had the level of difficulty breathing that I have had, I know it’s hard to understand my position and I respect that. I just cannot risk it so please know this is my request currently. 

I love the time Sarah and I have enjoyed together going through memorabilia, playing in the rain, reading books together, praying with each other and cooking together. It’s a gift I do not take for granted. I’m sad to see her have to return back home but oh so thankful she stayed with me this week!!

Chemo…not today!

Unexpected internal battle today started with feeling quite stiff and sore in my entire rib cage because I decided not to take ibuprofen last night since I felt so great! Not wise.

Drove up to The James Breast Cancer Center and waited more than 3 hours for 3 appointments but only ended up having two. Blood draw for labs then meeting with Ann the Nurse Practitioner. I was supposed to have chemo today but for a few reasons it got postponed to next week. My head and heart really struggled being there  so many triggers and my thoughts were not taken captive so they had a bit of a hay day and I struggled.

Lunch after with Lynne and Sarah Jean was lovely. That’sa praise! However I was in a funk.

Drove home and Sarah had a massive headache and I was exhausted. So we were quiet the team. I had to explain Mutt and Jeff.

A few calls to family and friends and now I’m off to bed looking forward to new mercies every morning, especially tomorrow morning. 

Answered Prayers

To every single person who whispered a prayer to the Creator, Healer, and Heavenly Father…THANK YOU!!

My hubby is only experiencing symptoms of a minor head cold and is still holding up in a hotel for the week but feeling pretty good, all things considered.

Today I laid low and stayed home all day taking care of fun things like contacting my medical insurance, disability insurance, and paying lots of medical bills. But praise the Lord our bills were all able to be paid and my disability insurance will kick in at the end of July paying me about 60% of my income!  

This morning I received a call from my new oncologist, Dr Sudheendra, and she wanted to answer several questions about my upcoming treatment starting tomorrow. She also shared that based on a test she did, immunotherapy will not work on me so that’s not a treatment we can rely on. As disappointing as this might be, God is way bigger than that and my healing isn’t dependent on it. She also shared with me that the CT scan that was recently done showed a fracture in one of my ribs which might explain some of the rib pain I have had. She also is requesting a new MRI of my liver because although the initial PET scan showed bright spots, she said the CT did not show abnormalities and she wanted to confirm whether or not those areas are truly areas that might have cells in them that don’t belong here or if it’s actually normal. 

Tonight God brought me a sister in Christ who has walked a similar journey as me and has experienced God’s miraculous healing. Kelly showered me with gifts and the greatest of them all was her prayer. But before she prayed I felt the Lord nudging me to take off my oxygen, so without question, I did. I did put the pulse oximeter on after and watched my oxygen go up to 94-97 WITHOUT the oxygen cannula on!!! Seriously, for the rest of the night I’ve had no O2 on and it’s been great!!! Answered prayer!! Truly a miracle!!

Now for the rest of the night I’m going to praise my Father for the blessing of friends who sent gifts, calls and texts and especially for my daughter who waited on me hand and foot with everything I needed throughout the day from food to blankets and even a new healing touch of what we call living bread Therapy where I had a moment of chills and she bundled me up and warmed me with a heated bread roll!! It worked!!

I’m ready to go to sleep in my Father’s arms tonight. Thank you Lord for my girl, Sarah, who has taken the day to tend to me and love on her mama all day. For her I’m so very thankful, Lord!!

My prayer tonight is from a booklet given to me by my sweet new friend, Kelly. It says… Lord you have given me abundant life. I receive that life through your Word and it flows to every organ of my body bringing healing and health. From John 10:10; John 6:63

This is reality fills!

Prayers Needed

Today I woke up feeling more energized since I had proper oxygen all night long. But my energy waned quickly and I rested much of the day. John was tired and napped off and on all day too so we thought that all this care-taking of me just wore him out. So thankfully Sarah Jean is here to take care of me.  

Jonathan came by this afternoon to deliver my wheatgrass juice and give me mama hugs. 

Sarah and I did get to record me reading one of the children’s book I wrote when the kids were small. 

We also went through several photo albums and memorabilia from the kids’ childhood. 

Then came a call we all dreaded. A friend I visited on Friday came down with COVID. It made me wonder why John has been so tired the past 2 days so I asked him to take a test and shockingly, he was also positive. Thankfully both Sarah and I tested negative however we need to watch ourselves closely. With her being pregnant and me having a challenged immune system, getting sick right now would not be at all favorable for either of us. 

Immediately John packed a suitcase for about a week and went to a local hotel while Sarah and I cleaned every knob, light switch and surface that John might have touched. Sarah was able to change her flight home tomorrow to Thursday so she can be with me. But I’m wiped out and needing some food and sleep right now. Tomorrow I’ll call The James to see how they will handle this. 

My prayer request is that John recovers quickly, neither Sarah Jean nor I get sick and anyone John came in contact with doesn’t get sick. 

Thank you! Trusting in joy, courage and love!

All Day With My Girl

It’s late and I’ve taken an oxycodone so this will be a quick post. But today while I felt I had low energy in general, experienced lots of discomfort physically with rib cage soreness with each inhalation, and a headache, I rejoice at the gift today brought me!! My beautiful daughter flew in from Florida for the weekend to love on her mama! And to give my over worked hubby a day of rest. 

She also hand delivered a miraculous gift of gas gift cards from her mother and father in law!!! Driving to Columbus multiple times weekly won’t be such a burden now Bill and Lorna!🥰 

She and I hung out in the kitchen all day as she prepared me salads, dressing and juiced veggies for the next several days.

We hung out in the garage with the door open and enjoyed fresh air fora couple hours. We thoroughly enjoyed time to just sit and talk about anything.

And we got to FaceTime with some beautiful humans, our cousins David and Lara!! Plus photo bomber, Ray!

Then she tucked me in bed and read healing scriptures and prayed over me as I dozed off to sweet slumber. A day I’ll cherish for its simplicity and connection with my beloved daughter. 

Second Biopsy Done and LilyMae’s Day

My blessed morning started with Liz reading a psalm and praying over me.

My friend and former co-worker Jessica came by this morning to help me get situated for our long trip back up to Columbus for a simple needle biopsy of a lymph node in my neck area to confirm the diagnosis from Dr Cody’s biopsy in my hip bone two weeks ago. This is one of the reasons I decided to switch to The James. I personally questioned the biopsy results that the metastatic was triple negative. When Dr Sudheendra at The James also questioned it, I felt much better that we could re-biopsy and confirm since the treatment will be totally different depending on the diagnosis. 

When John and I got to Columbus, the weather was idyllic!! Because we got there at least 2 hours earlier than we needed to be, we sat outside in the courtyard and soaked in the sun  while we sat on a bench, I laid my head on my sweet man’s lap as he ever so gently stroked my hair as the perfect breeze billowed over me. This man loves me fiercely and I’m so thankful!

Finally our time came to go inside and, as always, the wonderful people God chooses to be my care providers continued to bless me. One of the sweetest, most personable, most fun and confident nurses I’ve worked with is this lovely human named Clarissa. It’s amazing how much we can connect with people in such a short time but Angels like her are easy to see. 

Today is a very sacred and special day for one of my most precious young friends! Although her birthday is tomorrow, this 13 year old is truly the most mature, tender hearted, Jesus loving young women I have ever known. Today was her birthday party that I could not attend but I made it a priority to stop by and give her a blessing, read her scriptures to contemplate, cry with her, wipe her tears away and remind her to EMBRACE this day and every day fully however it comes. Happy birthday sweet LilyMae!

Once again we returned home to a box on the front stoop. Friend and friends of friends have lavished us with such love. Thank you Heather!! Thank you FP! Tonight we celebrated life, love, a meal and healing prayer and with our dear friends B&L. 

Thankfully I’m going to sleep pain free and peaceful.