Let’s Play High Low

Reality check. Saturday was quite the day with an extreme low and high. Without giving details let’s just say that the stress of my whole situation finally showed itself with my sweet hubby and me. Out of his frustration over many things, he made some comments that didn’t sit well in my spirit and I ended up crying and replied saying things out of hurt, which unfortunately means I ended up having a crying & coughing fit. My body just isn’t in any condition to handle it and for the rest of the day I really struggled physically with severe pain around my entire rib cage. Thankfully he realized how his moment of human weakness was not productive for either of us and he genuinely apologized and asked for forgiveness, which of course I was very thankful to give it and we moved on. 

Living in this reality can bring about such overwhelming grief, loss of control over one’s life, stresses financially, and so many changes happening all at once from lots of career to diet changes and even those things people don’t often think about like intimacy changes. So it’s no wonder occasionally either or both of us kinda lose it. The important thing is we acknowledged it, offered grace to each other and made the most of every minute afterwards. (Special thanks to my dear friend Michaelah for inviting me to Focus 2 years ago, where I learned how to “move a position”.)

So yes, that was the “low low”. 

Then the high… THE day came that we have been waiting for for 8 months! John and I decided last September to purchase a van that John would upfit so we could go on lots of camping trips in style and eventually when we retired, we would live in it full time. Well, sadly I was prematurely forced into retirement with all this health craziness and I will never be able to work as a hygienist again for multiple reasons, my immune system primarily being the biggest reason. So in order to make the most of however much time we have left together, John has decided to retire as soon as possible so that we can try and be together and enjoy our lives as much as my treatments and physical condition will allow. He will feverishly build this out in between his remaining staircase jobs and hopefully, prayerfully, I will be able to experience our remaining days together sitting at the foot of waterfalls and hiking or canoeing beautiful places, and Lord willing…ride my mountain bike again when my body starts to get stronger. But THIS is one more thing that gives me a reason to fight this and be a victor! 

My day ended with some sweet mama and son time. Jonathan came up and graciously offered to juice for me and then literally tucked me in bed which is quite the process as it takes me about 15 minutes to just lay down and not cough. But somehow with going slowly, the right medications, lots of prayer and listening to the Gratitude song, I managed to get into bed without any horrible coughing fit. Thank you, Jesus!! That’s a huge win! I’m so blessed as a mama to have the most loving and generous kids who shower me with their love and prayers. 

Night night.