Girl’s Weekend plus D

It’s 1 am and I’m lying in bed with twitching muscles firing off in all the wrong ways and disrupting my sleep yet again. This is the third episode of severe Charlie horses in my feet, calves, shins and ribs! There’s nothing quite like this and I just adjust and readjust my body’s position in hopes of preventing an attack where I am sitting on the bedroom floor sobbing because the spasms are going off in several muscles at the same time and nothing helps! When I used to get a Charlie horse, I could flex that muscle and it would help it but these latest episodes have so many muscles going crazy at the same time that flexing one muscle triggers yet another spasm in another so I just shake, rub, sit and cry until they stop. It is likely happening because of the common side effects of the medications I have infused into my body every three weeks to treat the breast cancer. I never know when it is going to happen and there’s nothing I can pinpoint that I’m eating or drinking that causes it but every time this extreme Charlie horsing happens it’s because I had diarrhea from the meds and lose way, WAY too much fluids that disrupts my electrolytes regardless of my replenishing with foods and drinks containing abundant minerals and electrolytes. Even pickle juice!

Last Thursday was quite the night!! I had the sheer joy of getting back on my mountain bike for the first time this season out in the woods and literally was giddy with happiness! I made it to the Frankenlight trail where the setting sun sang to me through the open forest as it always does but this night was even fresher and newer and sweeter of yet another promise of life being lived to the fullest!

We rode for about an hour causing me to sweat, then my tummy started its rumbling thing and off to the bathroom I went losing yet more fluids. And as I laid down to go to sleep that night I knew my body was off because I could literally feel my shin and foot muscles twitching weird. Sure enough, 20 minutes after laying down I bolted out of bed writhing from the spastic muscles. After drinking more fluids, and eating salty and mineral rich foods, I went back in bed hoping to fall asleep because I had to get up in 3 hours to catch a plane for Colorado for my 12th Annual Girl’s Weekend with Brooklyn and Liz!! My prayer… “God please let me fall asleep now with no more spasms!!!!!!” Thankfully, I fell asleep but only had those 3 hours of sleep. 

Then came beautiful Colorado where Girl’s Weekend became Birl’s Weekend because Brooklyn’s hubby, Daniel,  (boy+ girl=birl) joined us this year as we stayed at their home. The weekend started with snow and ended with sunshine. Started with tears and ended with hugs. Started with walking the dog in the neighborhood and ended with hiking 2 hours at Batesso Preserve! Started with great food & conversation AND ended with great food and conversation!!

Friday night we had reservations at Black Belly Restaurant near Boulder!! Ok, true story…I cried over the warm focaccia bread! Yes, it was THAT amazing! Life changing! Mind blowing! Stop the bus! Focaccia!

Then to really splurge, I had a mini scoop of pistachio ice cream and strawberry pavlova with lemon curd dabbled on top. I didn’t cry over it but it made me just close my eyes and slowly relish the decadence of it as I unashamedly ate dessert!

Once I returned back home it’s been post, post, post and sell, sell, sell! 

Then today, Tuesday, I’m up at The James once again for my 3 week infusion of Herceptin and Perjeta. I’m ever so thankful as I feel as well as I do. I see the sad eyes of so many others here as they struggle. Today I take my medicine and give thanks to God for my life!! 

Yes, I hear the institutional beep, beep, beep of the IV machine alerting my nurse of the drugs emptying into my veins and yes, I see the syringes on the tray to flush my port and yes, I feel the warmed blanket on my lap that they offer for comforting the cancer patients. And yes, I thank God, my Lord and Savior for breath in my lungs, strong legs to walk on, and a joy-filled spirit where I’m happy about my life!  This short little life is too short to be bitter, sad, demanding, selfish, dissatisfied, or complaining! 

I don’t let this define me.