Day December 4, 2016 Surgery Completed & Spiritually Challenged

Much has happened since my last official blog entry. My mom came in to town from Rockford, IL to tend to my needs and be a support for both John and me with my surgery. There really is nothing quite like having my mom here. She and I have such ease when together and she is so pleasant to have just hang around. She's not overbearing, not too loud, not complaining, just perfect and I'm deeply thankful for the woman she is! She and John have a great time together, too, which makes is that much more pleasant for all of us. So to sum it up, having her here is effortless and joyful!  Thanks, Dad, who even gave her up for a week while he had his 74th birthday away from her so she could tend to me!

Next I'll talk details of Thursday...surgery day...
My morning started early at 5 a.m. with showering with prescription soap to prevent infection, then out the door by 6 a.m. with an overnight bag packed, just in case. I was very certain I would not be needing it as I was incorrectly confident that my lymph nodes under my armpit would be negative after chemo. The MRI was very promising! My greatest 'worry' was how getting the wire inserted into me would feel before surgery. I was told it was like getting my biopsy. Without expounding on that, let me just say that it did not make me feel excited about it since my biopsy, at least the second one, was pretty painful!

But much to my surprise, it was actually a breeze! I started the procedure in The Christ Hospital Medical Office Building where a radiation technologist performed mammograms to locate the metal markers in my breast and armpit in order for the radiologist, Dr. Cornwell, to insert the wires to both markers. Much to their dismay, finding the marker in my armpit was too challenging and the positioning of that mammogram was too uncomfortable to accomplish what they wanted, so I only got the one wire placed in my breast. The best part was how painless the anesthetic injection was, followed up with a needle to guide the wire which I did not even feel the pressure they said to expect!! Prayers answered! After that, I was wheeled to the surgical building where Dr. Manders was waiting for me.

Thankfully, I asked the anesthesiologist to use my port vs giving me an IV. I know I had some conversation with Dr. Manders and she met my husband and mom, but I don't really remember much after that other than I woke up after surgery with Dr. Manders by my side telling me I would need to stay the night as she found 3 of my 5 sentinel nodes still positive with cancer, so she had to remove the entire lymph node pad under my armpit.

Shock. Disbelief. Tears. Acceptance.

Those 4 things happened in about a 5 minute time frame.  Immediately, God put it on my heart that if I were to go home that day, I would not be meeting the nurses and hospital staff in the next 2 days that He planned on me talking to about Him. I trusted His prompting and knew my mission was defined. So from the gal that wheeled me from the surgical area to my hospital room to every nurse and Patient Care Advocate after that, I was determined to share with them these 3 things...1. God loves them and 2. He wants to be in a relationship with them and 3. He is closer to them than they may realize. With that directive, I gladly accepted my diagnosis and walked (actually rolled) into the next couple days with God's peace draped around me.

I had such remarkable care providers that were genuine and lovely for the next 2 days. I did not feel like I was just a number, but a person they lovingly cared for. I had the privilege of praying with one of the nurses and really enjoyed my stay there, overall. I told one of them that between the delicious dill salmon on the menu to the view out of my window at night, to the gentle massage my calves got from these wraps they put on my legs to prevent blood clots, I felt like I was in a Hilton Hospital! I never turned on the tv, but listened to my Pandora station "calm meditation" the entire time. I kind of felt like I was in a spa! If my life can make a difference for one of those ladies I talked to, I can better accept the fact that my lymph nodes were sliced out of me and this journey is not yet over.

So I went home with  pain pills to take, exercises to do to prevent scar tissue, a drain sewn into my armpit to drain every 8 hours, and some significant bruising and new scars to tend to. Thankfully, I have iced everything for the past few days and taken Percocet every 4 hours without fail for pain relief and have not experienced anything to really complain about. If I do not look at the scars and bruises, I could sit and not even know I just had surgery. The oxycodone does make me feel weird mentally and I know my thinking is off a bit with it, but it's better than the pain. But as of this afternoon, I am weaning myself off of it and just taking Tylenol.

To top it off, last night we even went to a friend of John's who lives in downtown Lebanon who had a Christmas party while the Lebanon Horse Parade went on. I went with them and we all had a grand time. Mostly I carefully sat and listened to  a group of ladies who sang accapella Christmas carols in the beautifully decorated house, then we watched the horse carriages pass by. I would not have done this if we did not have the protection of Bess' house and yard to put distance between me and the  thousands of paraders on the street. It's hard to believe how comfortable I felt to be able to do something like that. Miracle, drugs...whatever it was, I am thankful I could go and show it all to my mom.

Now today, I am resting, we will decorate for Christmas, and I see a nap in my near future. I am thankful for all those who showered me with loving texts, calls, and flowers!

Next we will see how my pathology report comes back. There is still a chance I could have positive margins around the area in my breast. If I do, then more surgery. Additionally, I will now need to do a full body scan to rule out other metastasized areas since the nodes were positive. I'll have an appointment Wednesday to review the pathology and schedule the scan.