Today I had my third and final consult to decide on a breast surgeon. I have selected seeing Dr. Jennifer Manders with Christ Hospital. Thank God for the clarity on that answered prayer!
She was very detailed for me. She took time to give a hand-written description of healthy breast anatomy and what happened with mine. She discussed my options, explained the next steps, and also knew first hand about patients she has seen that decided to take the alternative route that I referred to in yesterday's blog and shared that she has seen women go from a very treatable stage 2 to terminal stage 4 because they chose the alternative therapy. She knew more about it than I did and after talking to her, I did feel like I could trust her as a surgeon and advocate. When we discussed complete lymph node dissection and how I might need that at some point, she said she has done THOUSANDS of them! That's way better than 4 or 5 that the first surgeon has done!
I canceled all the other appointments for this week I had scheduled since they were associated with the second doctor. Since I will be working with Dr. Manders' doctors at Christ, I prefer to keep it in the system. Therefore I now have my MRI scheduled for Friday at 1:00.
I learned that we are waiting for my oncotype results to come in before we know more specifically about chemotherapy, but I will meet with an oncologist, Dr. Robert Cody, to discuss what therapy is best. So it looks like chemo is Dr. Manders' first line of treatment in order to treat the 2 positive lymph nodes already found. The hope is that the chemo will turn any positive nodes to negative. We then will do surgery after chemo. Surgery will depend on how lymph nodes respond to chemo and genetic testing results.
When I asked her about waiting til August to treat so I can at least go to Jackson, WY, she said it would not be in my best interest to wait since cancerous cells can travel through lymph and blood vessels and my chances of survival are better if we treat sooner than later. So no vacations for me on my John Wonderly Wilderness Adventures we look so forward to every year. I was eagerly looking forward to my 50th birthday being the most romantic get away with him in my heaven-on-earth favorite place, Quetico. The loons on Lake Wicksteed will have to sing without me hearing them this year. Looks like I'll probably be bald and nauseous on my 50th...how disappointing.
There are still so many unknowns as I move forward in all this chaos. I want to blink and have it be all over, or just a bad dream. It is still very surreal as I sit here in my normal setting, with my hair in my head, and feeling totally normal. I cannot believe all that is happening. I'm probably getting a little mad at all this right now! And I haven't even dealt with the need for my shoulder surgery yet which needs to be factored in too! Thank God I have long term disability insurance to help out in 3 months. Arun Lai, you have been a faithful advisor. Thank you!
It's now the end of my day at work and I have begun to absorb the reality of what is about to happen. I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of it all. Thankfully, my last patient was a friend, a brother in the Lord and a compassionate man whom I know will continue to lift me up in prayer. My friend and co-worker, Holly T., sat with me and was just present with me as I processed more. I don't think I can say enough how surreal this whole ordeal is as if it's not really happening to ME. My heart breaks for my husband and children as they will have to deal with a wife and mom that is undergoing so much. God, please help us all. Show me the way and let me know my purpose in all of this.
No comments:
Post a Comment