Day 46 Part 1 Blogging Too Early

So my symptoms grew worse, but not terrible, as I imagine they will. I still have 2 bags of anti-nausea meds in me, so why I felt these waves of nauseousness and foggy-brain ache, I don't know. I did call the oncology office and they suggested I take my oral anti-nausea meds. What I did not know is that teeny tiny pill that needed to dissolve under my tongue would taste like bitter, 'spit-this-out-of-my -mouth' gall! I did have a major whining session for a few minutes with my daughter, Sarah Jean, and she kindly documented it with a video for me. If ever I thought that documenting these events would be to help some poor person going through this themselves, I was wrong! I would never want someone to have to watch what will possibly happen to them. It's better to just experience it for themselves, otherwise, it puts too much negative thoughts and possibly fear into their own minds. No, this is mostly for me to go back and realize just how faithful God is and will be through all this once it's all over.

I went to bed and fell asleep easily for 2.5 hours. It felt like about 6 hours! Now I'm awake.....

I told John to continue on with life as much as possible, so he went to floor hockey. He just got home a few minutes ago and wants me to come to bed with him. I'm afraid I'll just toss and turn as I don't feel sleepy. So in a few minutes, after I eat an apple, I'll try.

Before he came home, I did have a heart to heart with my Heavenly Father. I feel so inadequate spiritually. I don't study and read like I believe He would want, and I live in my flesh so often because I don't go to His Word as much as I wish. He is such a good and loving Father and I want to be more like Him. I did find that praying for my persecuted brothers and sisters around the world who are suffering SO MUCH MORE than me was where I needed to focus. It took it off my weakness and brought them to the forefront of my mind, which is much more worthy of my time. Thank you for teaching me so much about Voice of the Martyrs, Lord, so that I can remember Hebrews 13:3. "Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body."